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the death of lei and yang be treat as accident .
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everybody at the base know that ye and yang be a happy couple , and no one suspect she .
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a new commissar come to the base , and life return to its habitual peace .
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the tiny life inside ye grow bigger every day , and she also feel the world outside change .
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one day , the security platoon commander ask ye to come to the gatehouse at the entrance to the base .
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when she enter the gatehouse , she be surprise to see three child : two boy and a girl , about fifteen or sixteen .
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they all wear old coat and dog fur hat , obviously local .
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the guard on duty tell she that they come from the village of qijiatun .
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they have hear that the people on radar peak be learn and have come to ask some question relate to they study .
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ye wonder how they dare to come onto radar peak .
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this be a restricted military zone , and the guard be authorize to warn intruder only once before shooting .
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the guard see that ye be puzzle and explain that they have just receive order that red coast base 's security rating have be reduce .
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the local be allow onto radar peak as long as they stay outside the base .
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several local peasant have already come yesterday to bring vegetable .
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one of the child take out a worn-out middle school physics textbook .
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he hand be dirty and crack like tree bark .
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in a thick northeastern accent , he ask a simple physics question :
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the textbook say that a body in free fall be under constant acceleration but will always reach a terminal velocity .
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they have be think about this for several night and could not understand why .
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" you walk all this way just to ask this ? " ye ask .
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" teacher ye , do not you know that they have restart the exam ? " the girl say excitedly .
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" the exam ? "
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" the national college entrance exam !
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whoever study hard and get the best score get to go to college !
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it begin two year ago .
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do not you know ? "
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" there be no need for recommendation anymore ? "
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" no. .
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anyone can take the exam .
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even the child of the five black category in the village can take it . "
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ye be stunned .
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this change leave she with mixed feeling .
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only after a while do she realize that the child be still wait with they book hold up .
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she hurriedly answer they question , explain that it be due to air resistance reach equilibrium against the force of gravity .
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then she promise that if they encounter any difficulty in they study in the future , they could always come to she for help .
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three day later , seven child come to seek ye .
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in addition to the three who have come last time , there be four more from village located even farther away .
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the third time , fifteen child come to find she , and even a teacher at a small-town high school come along .
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because there be a shortage of teacher , he have to teach physics , math , and chemistry , and he come to ask ye for some help on teaching .
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the man be over fifty year old , and he face be already full of wrinkle .
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he be very nervous in front of ye , and spill book everywhere .
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after they leave the gatehouse , ye hear he say to the student : " children , that be a scientist .
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a real , bona fide scientist ! "
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after that , child would come to she for tutor every few day .
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sometimes there be so many of they that the gatehouse could not accommodate they all .
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with the permission of the officer in charge of base security , the guard would escort they to the cafeteria .
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there , ye put up a small blackboard and teach the child .
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it be dark by the time ye get off work on the eve of chinese new year , 1980 .
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most people at the base have already leave radar peak for the three-day holiday , and it be quiet everywhere .
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ye return to she room .
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this be once the home of she and yang weining , but now it be empty , she only companion the unborn child within she .
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in the night outside , the cold wind of the greater khingan mountain scream , carry with it the faint sound of firecracker go off in the village of qijiatun .
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loneliness press down on ye like a giant hand , and she feel herself be crush ; compress until she be so small that she disappear into a invisible corner of the universe ....
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just then , someone knock on she door .
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when she open it , ye first see the guard , and then , behind he , the fire of several pine branch torch flicker in the cold wind .
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the torch be hold aloft by a crowd of child , they face bright red from the cold , and icicle hang from they hat .
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when they come into she room , they seem to bring the cold air in with they .
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two of the boy , thinly dress , have suffer the most .
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they have take off they thick coat and wrap they around something that they carry in they arm .
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unwrap the coat reveal a large pot , the fermented cabbage and pork dumpling inside still steam hot .
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that year , eight month after she send she signal toward the sun , ye go into labor .
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because the baby be malposition and she body be weak , the base clinic could not handle she case and have to send she to the nearest town hospital .
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this become one of the hardest time in ye 's life .
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after endure a great deal of pain and lose a large amount of blood , she sink into a coma .
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through a blur she could only see three hot , blinding sun slowly orbit around she , cruelly roast she body .
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this state last for some time , and she hazily think it be probably the end for she .
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it be she hell .
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the fire of the three sun would torment she and burn she forever .
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this be punishment for she betrayal , the betrayal that exceed all other .
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she sink into terror : not for she , but for she unborn child — be the child still in she ?
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or have she already be bear into this hell to suffer eternally with she ?
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she do not know how much time have pass .
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gradually the three sun move farther away .
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after a certain distance , they suddenly shrink and turn into crystalline fly star .
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the air around she cool , and she pain lessen .
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she finally awake .
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ye hear a cry next to she .
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turn she head with great effort , she see the baby 's pink , wet , little face .
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the doctor tell ye that she have lose more than 2,000 ml of blood .
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dozen of peasant from qijiatun have come to donate blood to she .
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many of the peasant have child who ye have tutor , but most have no connection to she at all , have only hear she name from the child and they parent .
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without they , she would certainly have die .
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ye 's living situation become a problem after the birth of she child .
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the difficult birth have damage she health .
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it be impossible for she to stay at the base with the baby all by herself , and she have no relative who could help .
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just then , a old couple living in qijiatun come to talk to the base leader and explain that they could take ye and she baby home with they and take care of they .
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the old man use to be a hunter and also gather some herb for traditional medicine .
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later , after the forest around the area be lose to log , the couple have turn to farming , but people still call he hunter qi out of habit .
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they have two son and two daughter .
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the daughter be marry and have move out .
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one of the son be a soldier away from home , and the other be marry and live with they .
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the daughter-in-law have also just give birth .
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ye still have not be rehabilitate politically , and the base leadership be unsure about this suggest solution .
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but in the end , there be no other way , and so they allow the couple to take ye and the baby home from the hospital on a sled .
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ye live for more than half a year with this peasant family in the greater khingan mountain .
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she be so weak after give birth that she milk do not come in .
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during this time , the baby girl , yang dong , be breastfeed by all the woman of the village .
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the one who nurse she the most be hunter qi 's daughter-in-law , call feng .
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feng have the strong , solid frame of the woman of the northeast .
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she eat sorghum every day , and she large breast be full of milk even though she be feed two baby at the same time .
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other nursing woman in qijiatun also come to feed yang dong .
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they like she , say that the baby have the same clever air as she mother .
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gradually , hunter qi 's home become the gathering place for all the woman of the village .
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old and young , matron and maiden , they all like to stop by when they have nothing else go on .
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they admire ye and be curious about she , and she find that she have many woman 's topic to discuss with they .
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on countless day , ye hold yang dong and sit with the other woman of the village in the yard , surround by birch post .
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next to she be a lazy black dog and the playing child , bathing in the warm sunlight .
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she pay attention especially to the woman with the copper tobacco pipe .
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leisurely , they blow smoke out of they mouth , and the smoke , fill with sunlight , give off a silvery glow much like the fine hair on they plump limb .
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one time , one of they hand she the long-stemmed cupronickel pipe and tell she it would make she feel better .
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she take only two hit before she become dizzy , and they laugh about it for several day .
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as for the man , ye have little to say to they .
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the matter that occupy they all day also seem outside she understanding .
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she gather that they be interested in plant some ginseng for cash while the government seem to be relax policy a little , but they do not quite have the courage to try .
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they all treat ye with great respect and be very polite toward she .
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she do not pay much attention to this at first .
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but after a while , after observe how those man roughly beat they wife and flirt outrageously with the widow in the village , say thing that make she blush , she finally realize how precious they respect be .
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every few day , one of they would bring a hare or pheasant he have catch to hunter qi 's home .
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they also give yang dong strange and quaint toy that they would make with they own hand .
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in ye 's memory , these month seem to belong to someone else , like a segment of another life that have drift into hers like a feather .
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this period condensed in she memory into a series of classical painting — not chinese brush painting but european oil painting .
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chinese brush painting be full of blank space , but life in qijiatun have no blank space .
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like classical oil painting , it be fill with thick , rich , solid color .
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everything be warm and intense : the heated kang stove-bed line with thick layer of ura sedge , the guandong and mohe tobacco stuff in copper pipe , the thick and heavy sorghum meal , the sixty-five-proof baijiu distil from sorghum — all of these blended into a quiet and peaceful life , like the creek at the edge of the village .
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most memorable to ye be the evening .
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hunter qi 's son be away in the city selling mushroom — the first to leave the village to earn money elsewhere , so she share a room in he house with feng .
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back then , there be no electricity in the village , and every evening , the two huddle around a kerosene lamp .
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ye would read while feng do she needlework .
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ye would lean closer and closer to the lamp without notice , and she bang would often get singe , at which point the two of they would glance up and smile at each other .
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feng , of course , never have this happen to she .
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she have very sharp eye , and could do detailed work even in the dim light from heating charcoal .
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the two baby , not even half a year old , would be sleep together on the kang next to they .
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ye love to watch they sleep , they even breathe the only sound in the room .
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at first , ye do not like sleep on the heated kang , and often get sick , but she gradually get use to it .
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as she sleep , she would imagine herself become a baby sleep in someone 's warm lap .
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the person who hold she be not she father or mother , or she dead husband .
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she do not know who it be .
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the feeling be so real that she would wake up with tear on she face .
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one time , she put down she book and see that feng be hold the cloth shoe she be stitch over she knee and stare into the kerosene lamp without move .
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when she realize that ye be look at she , feng ask , " sister , why do you think the star in the sky do not fall down ? "
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ye examine feng .
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the kerosene lamp be a wonderful artist and create a classical painting with dignified color and bright stroke :
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feng have she coat drape over she shoulder , expose she red belly-band , and a strong , graceful arm .
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the glow from the kerosene lamp paint she figure with vivid , warm color , while the rest of the room dissolve into a gentle darkness .
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close attention reveal a dim red glow , which do not come from the kerosene lamp , but the heating charcoal on the ground .
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the cold air outside sculpt beautiful ice pattern on the windowpane with the room 's warm , humid air .
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" you be afraid of the star fall down ? "
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ye ask softly .
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feng laugh and shake she head .
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" what be there to be afraid of ?
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they be so tiny . "
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ye do not give she the answer of a astrophysicist .
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she only say , " they be very , very far away .
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they can not fall . "
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feng be satisfy with this answer , and go back to she needlework .
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but ye could no longer be at peace .
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she put down she book and lay down on the warm surface of the kang , close she eye .
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in she imagination , the rest of the universe around they tiny cottage disappear , just the way the kerosene lamp hide most of the room in darkness .
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then she substitute the universe in feng 's heart for the real one .
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the night sky be a black dome that be just large enough to cover the entirety of the world .
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the surface of the dome be inlay with countless star shine with a crystalline silver light , none of which be bigger than the mirror on the old wooden table next to the bed .
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the world be flat and extended very far in each direction , but ultimately there be a edge where it meet the sky .
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the flat surface be cover with mountain range like the greater khingan mountain , and with forest dot with tiny village , just like qijiatun ....
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this toy-box-like universe comfort ye , and gradually it shift from she imagination into she dream .
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in this tiny mountain hamlet deep in the greater khingan mountain , something finally thaw in ye wenjie 's heart .
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in the frozen tundra of she soul , a tiny , clear lake of meltwater appear .
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ye eventually return to red coast base with yang dong .
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another two year pass , divide between anxiety and peace .
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ye then receive a notice : both she and she father have be politically rehabilitate .
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soon after , a letter arrive for she from tsinghua , state that she could return to teach right away .
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accompany the letter be a sum of money : the back pay owe to she father after he rehabilitation .
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finally , at base meeting , she supervisor could call she comrade .
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ye face all these change with equanimity , show no sign of excitement or elation .
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she have no interest in the outside world , only want to stay at the quiet , out-of-the-way red coast base .
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but for the sake of yang dong 's education , she finally leave the base that she have once think would be she home for the rest of she life , and return to she alma mater .
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leave the mountain , ye feel spring be everywhere .
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the cold winter of the cultural revolution really be over , and everything be spring back to life .
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even though the calamity have just end , everything be in ruin , and countless man and woman be lick they wound .
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the dawn of a new life be already evident .
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student with child of they own appear on college campus ; bookstore sell out of famous literary work ; technological innovation become the focus in factory ; and scientific research now enjoy a sacred halo .
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science and technology be the only key to open the door to the future , and people approach science with the faith and sincerity of elementary school student .
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though they effort be naïve , they be also down-to-earth .
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at the first national conference on science , guo moruo , president of the chinese academy of sciences , declare that it be the season of rebirth and renewal for china 's battered science establishment .
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be this the end of the madness ?
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be science and rationality really come back ?
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ye ask herself these question repeatedly .
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ye never again receive any communication from trisolaris .
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she know that she would have to wait at least eight year to hear that world 's response to she message , and after leave the base , she no longer have any way of receive extraterrestrial reply .
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it be such a important thing , and yet she have do it all by herself .
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this give she a sense of unreality .
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as time pass , that sense grow ever stronger .
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what have happen resemble a illusion , a dream .
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could the sun really amplify radio signal ?
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do she really use it as a antenna to send a message about human civilization into the universe ?
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do she really receive a message from the star ?
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do that blood-hued morning , when she have betray the entire human race , really happen ?
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and those murder ...
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ye try to numb herself with work so as to forget the past — and almost succeed .
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a strange kind of self-protective instinct cause she to stop recall the past , to stop think about the communication she have once have with another civilization .
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she life pass this way , day after day , in tranquility .
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after she have be back at tsinghua for a while , ye take dong dong to see she grandmother , shao lin .
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after she husband 's death , shao have soon recover from she mental breakdown and find way to survive in the tiny crack of politics .
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she attempt to chase the political wind and shout the right slogan finally pay off , and later , during the " return to class , continue the revolution " phase , she go back to teaching .
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but then shao do something that no one expect .
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she marry a persecute high-level cadre from the education ministry .
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at that time , the cadre still live in a " cowshed " for reform through labor .
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this be part of shao 's long-term plan .
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she know that the chaos in society could not last long .
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the young rebel who be attack everything in sight have no experience in manage a country .
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sooner or later , the persecute and sideline old cadre would be back in power .
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she gamble pay off .
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even before the end of the cultural revolution , she husband be partially restore to he old position .
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after the third plenary session of the eleventh cpc central committee , he be soon promote to the level of a deputy minister .
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base on this background , shao lin also rise quickly as intellectual become favor again .
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after become a member of the chinese academy of sciences , she very wisely leave she old school and be promote to be the vice president of another famous university .
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ye wenjie see this new version of she mother as the very model of a educate woman who know how to take care of herself .
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there be not a hint of the persecution that she go through .
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she enthusiastically welcome ye and dong dong , inquire after ye 's life during those year with concern , exclaim that dong dong be so cute and smart , and meticulously direct the cook in prepare ye 's favorite dish .
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everything be do with skill , practice , and the appropriate level of care .
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but ye could clearly detect a invisible wall between she mother and herself .
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they carefully avoid sensitive topic and never mention ye 's father .
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after dinner , shao lin and she husband accompany ye and dong dong down to the street to say good-bye .
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then shao lin return home while the deputy minister ask to have a word with ye .
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in a moment , the deputy minister 's kind smile turn to frost , as though he have impatiently pull off he mask .
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" we be happy to have you and the child visit in the future under one condition : do not try to pursue old historical debt .
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you mother bear no responsibility for you father 's death .
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she be a victim as well .
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you father cling to he own faith in a manner that be not healthy and walk all the way down a blind alley .
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he abandon he responsibility to he family and cause you and you mother to suffer . "
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" you have no right to speak of my father , " ye say , anger suffuse she voice .
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" this be between my mother and i .
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it have nothing to do with you . "
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" you be right , " shao lin 's husband say coldly .
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" i be only pass on a message from you mother . "
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ye look up at the residential apartment building reserve for high-level cadre .
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shao lin have lift a corner of the curtain to peek down at they .
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without a word , ye bent down to pick up dong dong and leave .
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she never return .
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ye search and search for information about the four female red guard who have kill she father , and eventually manage to locate three of they .
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all three have be send down to the countryside and then return , and all be unemployed .
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after ye get they address , she write a brief letter to each of they , ask they to meet she at the exercise grounds where she father have die .
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just to talk .
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ye have no desire for revenge .
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back at red coast base , on that morning of the transmission , she have get revenge against the entire human race , include those red guards .
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but she want to hear these murderer repent , want to see even a hint of the return of humanity .
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that afternoon after class , ye wait for they on the exercise grounds .
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she do not have much hope , and be almost certain that they would not show up .
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but at the time of the appointment , the three old red guards come .
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ye recognize they from a distance because they be all dress in now-rare green military uniform .
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when they come closer , she realize that the uniform be likely the same one they have wear at that mass struggle session .
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the clothes have be launder until they color have fade , and they have be conspicuously patch .
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other than the uniform , the three woman in they thirty no longer resemble the three young red guards who have look so valiant on that day .
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they have lose not only youth , but also something else .
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the first impression ye have be that , though the three have once seem to be carve out of the same mold , they now look very different from each other .
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one have become very thin and small , and she uniform hung loose on she .
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already show she age , she back be bent and she hair have a yellow tint .
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another have become thick frame , so that the uniform jacket she wear could not even be button .
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she hair be messy and she face dark , as though the hardship of life have rob she of any feminine refinement , leave behind only numbness and rudeness .
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the third woman still have hint of she youthful appearance , but one of she sleeve be now empty and hung loose as she walk .
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the three old red guards stand in front of ye in a row — just like they have stand against ye zhetai — try to recapture they long-forgotten dignity .
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but the demonic spiritual energy that have once propel they be go .
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the thin woman 's face hold a mouselike expression .
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the thickset woman 's face show only numbness .
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the one-armed woman gaze up at the sky .
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" do you think we would not dare to show up ? " the thickset woman ask , she tone try to be provocative .
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" i think we should see each other .
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there should be some closure to the past , " ye say .
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" the past be finish .
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you should know that . "
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the thin woman 's voice be sharp , as though she be always frighten of something .
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" i mean spiritual closure . "
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" then you want to hear we repent ? " the thick woman ask .
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" do not you think you should ? "
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" then who will repent to we ? " the one-armed woman ask .
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the thickset woman say , " of the four of we , three have sign the big-character poster at the high school attach to tsinghua .
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revolutionary tour , the great rally in tiananmen , the red guard civil wars , first red headquarters , second red headquarters , third red headquarters , joint action committee , western pickets , eastern pickets , new peking university commune , red flag combat team , the east be red — we go through every single milestone in the history of the red guards from birth to death . "
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the one-armed woman take over .
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" during the hundred-day war at tsinghua , two of we be with the jinggang mountain corps , and the other two be with the april fourteenth faction .
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i hold a grenade and attack a homemade tank from the jinggang mountain faction .
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my arm be crush by the tread on the tank .
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my blood and muscle and bone be ground into the mud .
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i be only fifteen year old . "
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" then , we be send to the wilderness ! "
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the thickset woman raise she arm .
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" two of we be send to shaanxi , the other two to henan , all to the most remote and poorest corner .
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when we first go , we be still idealistic , but that do not last .
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after a day of labor in the field , we be so tired that we could not even wash we clothes .
|
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we lay in leaky straw hut and listen to wolf cry in the night , and gradually we wake from we dream .
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||||
we be stick in those forget village and no one care about we at all . "
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the one-armed woman stare at the ground numbly .
|
||||
" while we be down in the countryside , sometimes , on a trail across the barren hill , i would bump into another red guard comrade or a enemy .
|
||||
we would look at each other : the same ragged clothes , the same dirt and cow shit cover we .
|
||||
we have nothing to say to each other . "
|
||||
the thickset woman stare at ye .
|
||||
" tang hongjing be the girl who give you father the fatal strike with she belt .
|
||||
she drown in the yellow river .
|
||||
there be a flood that carry off a few of the sheep keep by the production team .
|
||||
so the party secretary call to the sent-down student , ' revolutionary youth !
|
||||
it be time to test you mettle ! '
|
||||
and so , hongjing and three other student jump into the river to save the sheep .
|
||||
it be early spring , and the surface of the river be still cover by a thin layer of ice .
|
||||
all four die , and no one know if it be from drown or freezing .
|
||||
when i see they body ...
|
||||
i ... i ... can not fuck talk about this anymore . "
|
||||
she cover she eye and sob .
|
||||
the thin woman sigh , tear in she eye .
|
||||
" then , later , we return to the city .
|
||||
but so what if we be back ?
|
||||
we still have nothing .
|
||||
rusticate youth who have return do not lead very good life .
|
||||
we can not even find the worst job .
|
||||
no job , no money , no future .
|
||||
we have nothing . "
|
||||
ye have no word .
|
||||
the one-armed woman say , " there be a movie call maple recently .
|
||||
i do not know if you have see it .
|
||||
at the end , a adult and a child stand in front of the grave of a red guard who have die during the faction civil war .
|
||||
the child ask the adult , ' be they hero ? '
|
||||
the adult say no. .
|
||||
the child ask , ' be they enemy ? '
|
||||
the adult again say no. .
|
||||
the child ask , ' then who be they ? '
|
||||
the adult say , ' history . ' "
|
||||
" do you hear that ? "
|
||||
the thickset woman wave a arm excitedly at ye .
|
||||
" history !
|
||||
history !
|
||||
it be a new age now .
|
||||
who will remember we ?
|
||||
who will think of we , include you ?
|
||||
everyone will forget all this completely ! "
|
||||
the three old red guards depart , leave only ye on the exercise grounds .
|
||||
more than a dozen year ago , on that rainy afternoon , she have stand alone here as well , gaze at she dead father .
|
||||
the old red guard 's final remark echo endlessly in she mind ....
|
||||
the setting sun cast a long shadow from ye 's slender figure .
|
||||
the small sliver of hope for society that have emerge in she soul have evaporate like a drop of dew in the sun .
|
||||
she tiny sense of doubt about she supreme act of betrayal have also disappear without a trace .
|
||||
Reference in New Issue
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