I did not leave that night.
Chen Qingyang grabbed me and asked me to stay in the name of great friendship.
She admitted that it was wrong to beat me and that she didn't treat me well, but she said that my great friendship was fake and that I cheated her out to study her structure.
I said, since I am a fake, why do you believe me.
I want to study her structure, which is also with her permission.
If you are not happy, you can say it early, and it is not enough to play.
Then she laughed for a while and said that she couldn't see the thing on me.
That thing was silly, shameless, and she couldn't help feeling angry when she saw it.
When we quarreled, there was still nothing.
My little monk is still upright, covered in plastic in the moonlight, but shining.
I was upset when I heard this, and she found it too.
So she said in a conciliatory tone: Anyway, this thing is terribly ugly, do you admit it?
This thing is standing there like an angry cobra, it is not very beautiful.
I said, since you don't want to see it, then forget it.
I want to put on my pants, she said again, don't do that.
So I started smoking.
When I finished smoking a cigarette, she hugged me.
We both did that on the grass.
Before my 21st birthday, I was a boy.
That night I lured Chen Qingyang and I to the mountain.
There was moonlight at the beginning of that night, and then the moon went down, and there were as many stars as the morning dew.
There was no wind that night, and the mountain was quiet.
I have made love to Chen Qingyang and I am no longer a boy.
But I am not happy at all.
Because when I did that, she didn't say a word, with her head resting on her arms, and looking at me thoughtfully, so I was alone in the performance from beginning to end.
In fact, I didn't last long, it was over immediately.
After the matter, I was both angry and frustrated.
Chen Qingyang said that she couldn't believe it was true:
I actually showed the ugly male genitalia in front of her, and I didn't feel ashamed.
The thing didn't feel ashamed, and it stuck straight between her legs.
Because a girl has such a hole in her body, a man should use her, which is simply unreasonable.
She used to have a husband who did this to her every day.
She kept silent, waiting for him to feel ashamed one day, and explain why he did it.
But he didn't say anything until he went to prison.
I don't like to hear that.
So I said: If you are not happy, why do you agree?
She said she didn't want to be regarded as a petty man.
I said you were originally a petty kid.
Later she said forget it, don't quarrel about it.
She told me to come here again at night, and we will try again.
Maybe she will like it.
I said nothing.
After the fog started in the morning, I broke up with her and went down to herd cattle.
I didn't look for her that night, and fell into the hospital.
The reason for this is this: when I arrived in front of the cow pen in the morning, a group of people couldn't wait for me, and they were already pulling the cow in the circle.
Everyone picked strong bulls to plow the fields.
There is a local young man named Sanmener who is pulling a big white cow.
I walked over and told him that the cow had been bitten by a poisonous snake and could not work.
He didn't seem to hear it.
I snatched the bull-nosed rope off my hand, and he slapped me.
I pushed him as a chest and pushed him a squat.
Then many people rushed up and hugged us in the middle to fight.
A group of educated youth in Beijing and a group of local youth took up sticks and belts.
After arguing for a while, he said not to fight, and made me wrestle with Sanmener. Sanmener couldn't beat me, so he moved his fists.
I kicked San Man'er into the dung pit in front of the circle, leaving him covered in cow shit.
San Man'er got up, grabbed a handful of Santooth and wanted to cut me off.
That's what happened in the morning.
In the evening when I came back from grazing, the captain said that I had beaten the poor and lower-middle peasants and wanted to start my struggle meeting.
I said that you want to take the opportunity to punish people, and I am not easy to mess with.
I also said to gather people to fight in groups.
The captain said that he didn't want to punish me, it was San Man'er's mother that made him unable to do anything.
The mother-in-law was a widow, and she splashed a lot.
He said that this is the rule here.
Later, he said that instead of holding a struggle meeting, it was changed to a help meeting and let me go forward and review it.
If I still refuse, let the widow come to me.
It will be chaotic.
The fellow villagers talked and talked, saying that the educated youth were too shameful, and even beating people.
The educated youth say shit, who steals things, have you caught it on the spot?
Lao Tzu is here to support the construction of the frontier, and they are not prisoners in the army.
I didn't review it before, just scolded.
The mother who didn't beware of Sannere touched it from behind, picked up a heavy rice-pulling stool, gave me a back waist, was hitting my old wound, and I immediately passed it on my back.
When I woke up, Luo Xiaosi led a group of people shouting to set the bullpen on fire, and said that the mother of three boredoms would resist.
The captain led a group of people to stop, and the deputy captain asked people to carry me into the bullock cart to the hospital.
The hygienist said that he couldn't lift it, his waist bar broke, and he died as soon as he lifted it.
I said that the waist rod seemed to be unbroken, so please lift me away.
But no one is sure if my waist is broken or unbroken, so I'm not sure if I will die as soon as I lift it.
I just lie down.
Later, the captain came over and asked, he said: Shake the phone to call Chen Qingyang down and let her see if her waist is broken.
After a while, Chen Qingyang ran up with disheveled eyelids and red and swollen eyelids. The first sentence was: Don't be afraid, if you are paralyzed, I will take care of you forever.
Then I checked and the diagnosis was the same as my own.
So I got in the bullock cart and went to the general hospital to see a doctor.
Chen Qingyang took me to the hospital that night and waited until the waist X-rays came out, and after seeing it, I thought it was OK.
She said she would come to see me for a day or two, but she never came.
I lived for a week, so I could walk around, so I ran back to find her.
When I walked into Chen Qingyang's infirmary, I carried a lot of things on my back, and I made a point in the basket.
In addition to pots and pans, there is enough food for two people for a month.
When she saw me coming in, she smiled faintly, said how are you, where to take these things.
I said I would go to Qingping for a hot spring.
She leaned back into the chair lazily and said, this is good.
Hot springs can heal old wounds.
I said I didn't really go to the hot springs, but to live in the mountains behind for a few days.
She said there was nothing on the mountain behind, so let's go to the hot spring.
Qingping’s hot spring is a mud pit in a mountain col, surrounded by grassy slopes.
Some patients have built shack on the hillside and live there as adults, and they have all kinds of diseases.
Not only can I not cure the disease, but I may also get leprosy.
And the low-lying valleys in the barren mountains behind are crisscrossing, and the grasses are scattered among the sparse forests. I built a thatched house in a deserted place. There is no one in the empty mountain, and the flowing water is falling. You can live in it to cultivate your health.
Chen Qingyang listened and couldn't help but smile and said: How to get to that place?
Maybe I will go see you.
I told her the way, and drew a sketch map, and went into the mountain by myself.
When I walked into the barren mountain, Chen Qingyang did not go to see me.
In the dry season, the mighty wind kept blowing, and the whole thatched house was shaking.
Chen Qingyang sat in a chair listening to the wind, recalling what happened in the past, and doubted everything.
It is difficult for her to believe that she would come to this extremely desolate place somehow, and be called a broken shoe for no reason, and then really got a broken shoe.
This is incredible.
Chen Qingyang said that sometimes she walked out of the room and looked up the mountain, and saw many paths in the hills winding into the deep mountains.
What I said to her is still in my ears.
She knew she would find me if she walked into the mountain along a road.
This is beyond doubt.
But the more undoubted things are more doubtful.
It is very possible that the road will not go anywhere, it is very possible that Wang Er is not in the mountains, it is very likely that Wang Er does not exist at all.
A few days later, Luo Xiaosi took a few people to the hospital to find me.
No one in the hospital had heard of Wang Er, let alone where he had gone.
At that time, hepatitis was prevalent in the hospital, and patients who did not contract hepatitis went home to recuperate, and doctors also stepped down to send doctors home.
Luo Xiaosi and the others returned to the team and found that my things were gone, so they asked the captain that Wang Er was seen.
The captain said, who is the second king?
Never heard of it.
Luo Xiaosi said that you had a meeting to fight him a few days ago, and the sharp-mouthed woman hit him on a bench and almost killed him.
After reminding me like this, the captain couldn't even remember who I was.
At that time, a Beijing educated youth condolences group came to investigate the situation of the educated youth, especially whether they were tied up and forced to marry, so the captain was not happy to think of me.
Luo Xiaosi went to the 15th team and asked Chen Qingyang if he had ever met me, and even hinted that she had an improper relationship with me.
Chen Qingyang said that she knew nothing about it.
When Luo Xiaosi left, Chen Qingyang became confused.
It seems that many people say that Wang Er does not exist.
This is the reason for the confusion.
Everyone says that what exists must not exist, because everything in front of you is a scam.
Everyone says that something that does not exist must exist, such as Wang Er. If he does not exist, where does the name come from?
Chen Qingyang couldn't restrain his curiosity, and finally left everything behind and came up the mountain to find me.
I fainted after being hit on a bench by the sharp-mouthed woman. Chen Qingyang once ran down from the mountain to see me.
At that time, she couldn't help crying, and said in public, if I get better, she will take care of me forever.
As a result, I did not die, not even paralyzed.
This is a good thing for me, but Chen Qingyang doesn't like it.
This is tantamount to publicly revealing that she is a broken shoe.
If I die, or collapse, it's what I should do, but I ran out after only a week in the hospital.
To her, I was the back figure who hurried off the mountain, a person in memory.
She didn't want to have sex with me, nor did she want to break her shoes with me, unless there was a major reason.
So she came to me as a real broken shoe act.
Chen Qingyang said that when she decided to go up the mountain to find me, she didn't wear anything under her white coat.
She just walked past the mountain bag behind the 15th team.
The hills are overgrown with grass, and under the grass is red soil.
In the morning the wind blows from the mountain into the Pingba, as cold as water on the mountain, and in the afternoon the wind blows back, carrying dry heat and dust.
When Chen Qingyang came to me, he was riding the white wind.
The wind came in from under the clothes and flowed through the body, like caressing and lips.
In fact, she doesn't need me, nor does she need to find me.
When people used to say that she was a broken shoe, and that I was her wild man, she came to me every day.
It seemed necessary at that time.
Since she publicly exposed that she was a broken shoe and I was her wild man, no one said she was a broken shoe, and no one mentioned Wang Er in front of her (except Luo Xiaosi).
Everyone is so scared of the shoe-breaking behavior of an open fire that they dare not even say it.
Everyone in the local area knows that people from Beijing will come to inspect the educated youth, but I don't.
This is because I was herding cattle a few days ago, I went out early and returned late, and had a bad reputation. No one told me. Later, I was admitted to the courtyard and no one came to see me.
After I was discharged from the hospital, I went into the mountains.
Before I entered the mountain, I saw two people in total, one was Chen Qingyang, and she didn't tell me about it.
The other was our captain. He didn't talk about it, but only told me to go to the hot spring to recover.
I told him that I had nothing (food, cooking utensils, etc.) so I could not go to the hot springs.
He said he could lend it to me.
I said I might not pay it back if I borrowed it, but he said it doesn't matter.
I borrowed a lot of homemade bacon and sausages from him.
Chen Qingyang didn't tell me about it because she didn't care and she was not an educated youth.
The captain didn't tell me about it because he thought I already knew it.
He thought that I took a lot of food and went away and would never come back.
So when Luo Xiaosi asked him where Wang Er had gone, he said: Wang Er?
Who is Wang Er?
Never heard of it.
For Luo Xiaosi and others, finding me is of great benefit. I can prove that everyone is treated badly here and often knocked out.
For the leaders, I do not have great convenience, which can show that no educated youth here is knocked out.
For myself, existence does not make much difference.
If no one comes to me, I plant some corn nearby and I can never come out.
For this reason, I don't care much about things that don't exist.
I also thought about the question of whether I existed in the hut.
For example, others say that Chen Qingyang and I broke the shoes. This is proof of existence.
In Luo Xiaosi's words, Wang Er and Chen Qingyang took off their pants and did.
In fact, he didn't see it either.
The limit he imagined is that we take off our pants.
Chen Qingyang also said that I came down from the mountain, wearing a yellow uniform, and walking fast.
I don't know myself that I walk without looking back.
Because these things are beyond my imagination, they are proof of my existence.
And my little monk stands upright, this is not what I came up with.
I always looked forward to Chen Qingyang to see me, but Chen Qingyang never came.
When she came, I didn't expect her to come.
I used to think that Chen Qingyang would come to see me immediately after I entered the mountain, but I was wrong.
I waited for a long time, and then stopped waiting.
Sitting in the hut, listening to the rustling of leaves all over the mountain, I finally reached the state of forgetting things.
I heard the mighty tide of air surging above my head, it was the time when the tide was in my soul.
Just like the flowers blooming in the mountains, the bamboo shoots are peeled off the ground and the shells of the bamboo shoots are exploded, straight up.
When the tide ebbs, I rest in peace, but when the tide rises, I have to dance with joy.
At this time, Chen Qingyang came to the door of the thatched house. She saw me sitting naked on the bamboo bed. The penis was like a skinned rabbit. It was a full-foot long red and shiny, standing there, panicking immediately and screaming.
Chen Qingyang went to the mountains to find me and can be briefly described as follows:
Two weeks after I entered the mountain, she went to the mountain to look for me.
It was two o'clock in the afternoon, but she took off her underwear, wearing only a white coat, and walked into the mountain barefoot like those women who ran for sex at midnight.
In this way, she walked across the grass under the sun, walked into a dry river ditch, and walked in the river ditch for a long time.
These ditches were messy, but she didn't even turn a wrong turn.
Later, she came out of the ditch again, walked into a sunny depression, and saw a newly built thatched house.
If there is no Wang Er to tell her this way, she would not find a thatched house in the middle of nowhere.
But she walked into the thatched house and saw Wang Er sitting on the bed. The little monk stood upright, but screamed in fright.
Chen Qingyang later said that she couldn't believe that everything she saw was true.
Real things must have a reason.
At that time, she took off her clothes and sat next to me, looking at my little monk, and saw that its color was like a burn scar.
At this time, my thatched house was swaying in the wind, and a lot of sunlight leaked from the roof, and the stars fell on her.
I reached out to touch her nipples until her face was flushed and her breasts firmed.
Suddenly she woke up from a dream, blushing with shame.
So she hugged me tightly.
It was the second time I had sex with Chen Qingyang, and I was puzzled by many details of the first sex.
Later, I realized that she always had a grudge about being called a broken shoe.
Since it cannot be proved that she is not a broken shoe, she is happy to be a real broken shoe.
Just like those women who were caught on the spot, they were called on stage to confess the details of the affair.
When those people heard that they couldn't hold on to their love and were full of ugliness, they cried out strangely: tie her up!
Someone rushed to the stage and tied her five flowers with fine twine. She stood in front of others and suffered humiliation.
These things are not annoying at all.
She was not afraid of being stripped naked, tied to a grinding plate, and thrown into a pond to drown.
Or, like the wives and concubines of high-ranking officials in the past, they were forced to dress neatly, put soaked yellow paper on their faces, and sit and die.
These things are not annoying at all.
She is not at all afraid of being a broken shoe, which is much better than being called a broken shoe instead of a broken shoe.
What she hated was the thing that made her a broken shoe itself.
When Chen Qingyang and I were making love, a lizard crawled in through a crack in the wall and stopped and walked across the ground in the middle of the room.
Suddenly it was startled, went out quickly and disappeared into the sunlight at the door.
At this time, Chen Qingyang's groan was like a flood, spreading in the house.
I was taken aback by this and leaned down and stayed still.
But she said, hurry up, bastard.
Also twist my leg.
After I was "almost", the tremors seemed to come from the center of the earth.
Later, she said that she felt that she was guilty and would be punished sooner or later.
When she said that she was going to be punished, a blush was fading from her chest.
Our business was not over at that time.
But her tone was that she would only get retribution for what happened before.
Suddenly I tightened from the top of my head to the tailbone, and started to ejaculate extremely violently.
This matter has nothing to do with her, probably only I will get retribution for it.
Later, Chen Qingyang told me that Luo Xiao looked for me everywhere.
When he came to the hospital to look for me, the hospital said I did not exist.
When he asked the captain to ask me, the captain also said that I did not exist.
Finally, he came to Chen Qingyang, Chen Qingyang said, since everyone said he does not exist, he probably does not exist, and I have no opinion.
Luo Xiaosi couldn't help crying when he heard this.
I felt very strange after hearing this.
I shouldn't exist because the sharp-mouthed woman hit me once, nor should I not exist because she hit me once.
In fact, my existence is an indisputable fact.
I just drilled a horn for this.
In order to verify this indisputable fact, I ran down the mountain and came to the forum on the day the condolences came.
After the meeting, the captain said, you don't look like you are sick.
Come back to feed the pigs.
He also organized manpower to catch Chen Qingyang and me.
Of course, it is not easy to catch me, my legs are very fast.
No one wants to follow me.
But it also caused me a lot of trouble.
Only at this time did I realize that I cannot prove my existence to others.
When I feed the pigs in the team, I have to pick a lot of water every day.
This work is very tiring, even laziness is impossible, because the pigs will cry if they are not full.
I have to chop a lot of pig vegetables and chop a lot of wood.
It used to be three women to feed these pigs, but now I have to do it alone.
I found that I couldn't beat three women, especially when the back pain.
At this time I really want to prove that I don't exist.
In the evening, Chen Qingyang and I had sex in the hut.
At that time, I was full of professionalism and passion for every kiss and caress.
Whether it is the classic missionary, backward, sideward, or female superior, I can do it meticulously.
Chen Qingyang is extremely satisfied with this.
I am also extremely satisfied.
At this time, I don’t think I need to prove my existence.
I have come to a conclusion from these experiences, that is, never let others pay attention to you.
People in Beijing say that they are not afraid of stealing, they are afraid of thinking.
Don't let anyone miss you.
After some time, all the educated youths in our team left.
Men are transferred to sugar factories as workers, and women are employed as teachers in farming.
Just leaving me to feed the pigs is said to be because I haven't been reformed yet.
Chen Qingyang said, I'm worried about it.
This person is probably the military representative of the farm.
She also said that military representatives are not a good thing.
It turned out that she was working in a hospital, and the military representative wanted to molest her, and she got a big mouth.
Then she was sent to Team 15 as a team doctor.
The water in Team 15 is bitter, and there is no food to eat. After a long time, it feels nothing.
But when she was transferred, it clearly meant to fix it.
She also said that I must be repaired to half death.
I said, what can he do to me?
I was so anxious that I ran away.
What happened afterwards all started from this.
It was twilight that morning, and I came down from the mountain to feed the pigs at the pig farm.
When passing by the well platform, he saw the military representative who was brushing his teeth.
He took the toothbrush out of his mouth and talked to me with a frothy mouth. I found it very annoying, so he walked away without saying a word.
After a while, he ran to the pig farm and yelled at me, saying how dare you leave.
I heard these words without saying a word.
Even if he said that I pretended to be dumb, I didn't say a word.
Then I walked away again.
The military representative came to our team and stopped.
According to him, if he could not take a word out of Wang Er's mouth, he would not be willing to die.
There were two possible reasons for this incident. One was that he came down to inspect and met me pretending to be deaf and dumb, so he was furious and stopped leaving.
Second, instead of coming down to inspect, he heard that Chen Qingyang had a leg with me and came to me specifically for trouble.
No matter why he came, I didn't say a word anyway, which made him very helpless.
The military representative talked to me and asked me to write an explanation.
He also said that the people who broke my shoes were very angry, and if I didn't confess, they would mobilize the people to deal with me.
He also said that my behavior is enough for bad elements and should be subject to dictatorship.
I can argue that I didn't break the shoes.
Can anyone prove that I broke my shoes?
But I just looked at him, looked at him like a wild boar, looked at him like a fool, looked at him like a male cat looks at a female cat.
Seeing him lose his temper, he let me go.
In the end, he didn't get a word out of my mouth.
He couldn't even figure out if I was dumb.
Others said I was not dumb, but he still couldn't believe it, because he had never heard me say a word.
He thinks of me to this day, but still can't figure out if I am dumb.
Thinking of this, I am extremely happy.