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    <s id="1:1">Childbirth</s>
    <s id="1:2">ONE DAY MR. CHENG went to Wang Qiyao's after work to find her pale and flustered, lying down every so often and then getting up to pace around.</s>
    <s id="1:3">She even knocked over a glass, which shattered on the floor, but didn't bother to pick up the pieces.</s>
    <s id="1:4">Mr. Cheng hurried out to call a pedicab, came back in to help her downstairs, and then rushed them off to the hospital.</s>
    <s id="1:5">Having arrived at the hospital, she seemed to improve, and Mr. Cheng went out to get something for their dinner.</s>
    <s id="1:6">By the time he got back, Wang Qiyao had already been taken into the delivery room.</s>
    <s id="1:7">It was a baby girl.</s>
    <s id="1:8">She was born at eight o'clock.</s>
    <s id="1:9">They told Mr. Cheng that she had long arms and legs and a full head of black hair.</s>
    <s id="1:10">This set him wondering, Just who does she look like?</s>
    <s id="1:11">When, three days later, he brought mother and daughter home from the hospital, the threesome attracted quite a few curious stares down the longtang.</s>
    <s id="1:12">Mr. Cheng had fetched Wang Qiyao's mother the day before, setting up a place for her on the sofa, and even going to the trouble of preparing a set of toiletries.</s>
    <s id="1:13">Mrs. Wang was silent the whole time, but, as Mr. Cheng busied himself with the household chores, she blurted out, "If only you had been the child's father . . ."</s>
    <s id="1:14">Mr. Cheng trembled and almost lost hold of the things in his hands.</s>
    <s id="1:15">He wanted to say something but his throat had closed up.</s>
    <s id="1:16">By the time he was able to speak, he had forgotten what to say.</s>
    <s id="1:17">So he simply pretended that he had not heard.</s>
    <s id="1:18">When Wang Qiyao came home the next day, her mother had already prepared a pot of chicken broth and the customary bowl of soup with red jujube and longan, which was supposed to be so nourishing for new mothers.</s>
    <s id="1:19">She handed the bowl to her daughter in silence.</s>
    <s id="1:20">She did not bother to even look at her granddaughter; it was as if the child did not exist.</s>
    <s id="1:21">Neighbors began to call on them, but they were only the most casual of acquaintances—the only contact they normally had with Wang Qiyao was waving hello as she went in and out of the longtang; now they came out of curiosity.</s>
    <s id="1:22">Each one went on about how much the baby looked like Wang Qiyao, all the while wondering who the father was.</s>
    <s id="1:23">Going into the kitchen to fetch the hot water Thermos, Mr. Cheng found Mrs. Wang standing in front of the window, looking out at the overcast sky and quietly wiping away the tears.</s>
    <s id="1:24">Mr. Cheng had always thought her a calculating woman.</s>
    <s id="1:25">Back when he used to call on Wang Qiyao, she would never even bother to greet him but always sent the maid down to talk to him at the door instead.</s>
    <s id="1:26">Now, he sensed, she was much closer to him, perhaps more understanding and sympathetic even than her daughter.</s>
    <s id="1:27">He stood behind her for a moment before offering a timid attempt at consolation.</s>
    <s id="1:28">"Don't worry, Auntie.</s>
    <s id="1:29">I'll take care of her."</s>
    <s id="1:30">With those words he could feel the tears welling up and hastened back into the room with the hot water thermos.</s>
    <s id="1:31">The next day Madame Yan, who had not visited for ages, came to see Wang Qiyao.</s>
    <s id="1:32">She had long heard of the pregnancy from her servant Mama Zhang, who had seen Wang Qiyao coming and going with that protruding belly of hers; Wang Qiyao obviously wasn't worried about the rumors her pregnancy might stir up.</s>
    <s id="1:33">Kang Mingxun and Sasha had by this time long vanished from the scene, one hiding out at home while the other fled far away.</s>
    <s id="1:34">Then, out of nowhere, appeared this Mr. Cheng, who suddenly started coming by at least three times a day.</s>
    <s id="1:35">Although Madame Yan wasn't exactly sure what had transpired, she wasn't in the least bit taken off guard; in fact, she fancied herself one imbued with keen insights into the situation of women like Wang Qiyao.</s>
    <s id="1:36">Still, she was intrigued by Mr. Cheng.</s>
    <s id="1:37">She could tell from the fine quality of the old suit he wore that this Mr. Cheng had been a stylish man back in the old days.</s>
    <s id="1:38">She took him to be some kind of playboy whom Wang Qiyao must have known back in her dance hall days.</s>
    <s id="1:39">Madame Yan imagined all kinds of things about Mr. Cheng.</s>
    <s id="1:40">She had run into him a few times in the alley: he was always on his way to Wang Qiyao's with snacks like "stinky tofu," and would always rush briskly past lest the food get cold.</s>
    <s id="1:41">The grease from the tofu had already soaked the bottom of the bag and was about to drip through.</s>
    <s id="1:42">Madame Yan was touched, even somewhat jealous of Wang Qiyao for having such a devoted friend.</s>
    <s id="1:43">Hearing that Wang Qiyao had given birth, she was moved to sympathy; being a woman, she could relate to how difficult things must have been for Wang Qiyao, and decided to go over to see how she was.</s>
    <s id="1:44">Mrs. Wang, sensing that Madame Yan was a cut above the others, felt favored by the visit and tried to make herself pleasant.</s>
    <s id="1:45">She even brewed some tea and sat down with Madame Yan.</s>
    <s id="1:46">With Mr. Cheng away at work, these three women of different generations compared notes about the hardships of childbirth.</s>
    <s id="1:47">Wang Qiyao mostly just sat and listened, as if the shady circumstances surrounding the father of her child prevented her from claiming her share of the glory.</s>
    <s id="1:48">Her mother and Madame Yan, on the other hand, vividly recalled every detail from earlier decades.</s>
    <s id="1:49">When Mrs. Wang started to speak about how hard it was giving birth to Wang Qiyao, the irony of the present situation was not lost on her and her eyes reddened.</s>
    <s id="1:50">She quickly found an excuse to scurry off into the kitchen, leaving the other two in an awkward silence.</s>
    <s id="1:51">The baby had just been fed and was deep in sleep, her outline barely visible in the candle light.</s>
    <s id="1:52">Wang Qiyao had been looking down as she picked her fingernails, but she abruptly raised her head and laughed.</s>
    <s id="1:53">It was a tragic laugh that affected even Madame Yan.</s>
    <s id="1:54">"Madame Yan, I really appreciate you coming to see me . . . especially after all that's happened.</s>
    <s id="1:55">I was worried you would look down on me," Wang Qiyao said.</s>
    <s id="1:56">"Oh, cut it out, Wang Qiyao!" replied Madame Yan.</s>
    <s id="1:57">"Nobody is looking down on you!</s>
    <s id="1:58">I'm calling on Kang Mingxun in a few days and I'm going to see to it that he comes to see you."</s>
    <s id="1:59">At the mention of his name, Wang Qiyao turned away.</s>
    <s id="1:60">It was only after a long silence that she replied, "That's right, it's been ages since I've seen him."</s>
    <s id="1:61">Madame Yan grew suspicious, but was forced to keep her thoughts to herself; instead she casually suggested that they all get together again.</s>
    <s id="1:62">"It's a pity that Sasha's no longer around.</s>
    <s id="1:63">He must be off in Siberia eating his Russian bread!</s>
    <s id="1:64">But that's okay, you can bring along that new friend of yours and we'll have a foursome for our mahjong games."</s>
    <s id="1:65">She took the opportunity to ask Wang Qiyao the gentleman's name, his age, where he was from, and where he worked, all of which Wang Qiyao responded to matter-of-factly.</s>
    <s id="1:66">At that point Madame Yan asked bluntly, "He is so loyal to you, and neither of you is getting any younger....</s>
    <s id="1:67">Why don't you just get married?"</s>
    <s id="1:68">Wang Qiyao responded with another laugh.</s>
    <s id="1:69">Raising her head, she looked Madame Yan straight in the eye.</s>
    <s id="1:70">"A woman like me. . . .</s>
    <s id="1:71">How could I talk of marriage?"</s>
    <s id="1:72">The next day, Kang Mingxun indeed came by to call on Wang Qiyao.</s>
    <s id="1:73">Although she had expected him to show up after Madame Yan's visit, she was still caught by surprise.</s>
    <s id="1:74">Standing there face to face, neither knew what to say.</s>
    <s id="1:75">Mrs. Wang sized up the situation and decided it was best to give them some privacy, but slammed the door shut on her way out to register her disapproval.</s>
    <s id="1:76">But Wang Qiyao and Kang Mingxun didn't even notice.</s>
    <s id="1:77">This was the first time they had been together since their parting.</s>
    <s id="1:78">It felt like thousands of years since they had last seen each other.</s>
    <s id="1:79">They had appeared in each other's dreams, but the images in their dreams were so far from the real person that they would have been better off not even dreaming.</s>
    <s id="1:80">They had, in truth, resolved not to think of each other—and succeeded.</s>
    <s id="1:81">But, face to face once again, they discovered that letting go was not as easy as they had thought.</s>
    <s id="1:82">They stood there for a moment before Kang Mingxun walked around to the other side of the bed to take a look at the baby.</s>
    <s id="1:83">Wang Qiyao stopped him.</s>
    <s id="1:84">When he asked why he shouldn't see the baby, she said, "Because I said so. . . ."</s>
    <s id="1:85">Kang Mingxun pressed for an explanation.</s>
    <s id="1:86">Wang Qiyao said that it wasn't his baby.</s>
    <s id="1:87">They fell silent for a while before he said, "Well, whose is it then, if it isn't mine?"</s>
    <s id="1:88">"Sasha's."</s>
    <s id="1:89">At that, the two of them broke down in tears.</s>
    <s id="1:90">All the sorrow they had suppressed back when they had to make that difficult decision suddenly came rushing back; they wondered how they had ever got through everything that had brought them to this point.</s>
    <s id="1:91">"I'm so sorry . . . I'm so sorry. . . ."</s>
    <s id="1:92">Kang Mingxun kept apologizing, knowing it would do no good even if he said it a thousand times over.</s>
    <s id="1:93">Wang Qiyao kept shaking her head, aware that if she did not accept the apology, she would have nothing at all.</s>
    <s id="1:94">They were both in tears, but it was Wang Qiyao who stopped crying first.</s>
    <s id="1:95">Wiping away her tears, she insisted, "She really is Sasha's child."</s>
    <s id="1:96">Hearing her say this, Kang Mingxun also pulled back his tears and sat himself down.</s>
    <s id="1:97">There was no more mention of the baby; it was as if she had ceased to exist.</s>
    <s id="1:98">Wang Qiyao had Kang Mingxun make himself some tea and, as he busied himself, she asked him what he had been doing of late—did he still play bridge?</s>
    <s id="1:99">Was there any news on the job front?</s>
    <s id="1:100">"For the past few months, it feels like I have been doing only one thing—waiting in line.</s>
    <s id="1:101">I get in line at nine thirty every morning to get into the Chinese restaurant.</s>
    <s id="1:102">Then I line up again around four at a Western restaurant.</s>
    <s id="1:103">Sometimes I have to line up just to get a cup of coffee or a quick bite, like a bowl of rice with salted pork."</s>
    <s id="1:104">He explained that he was the one who usually got stuck holding a place in line for the rest of the family; once it got to close to his turn, everyone else would show up.</s>
    <s id="1:105">"Everyone talks about there not being enough to eat, but I feel like all I do all day long is eat!"</s>
    <s id="1:106">Wang Qiyao took a closer look at him and jokingly observed, "You've been eating so much that you're starting to grow gray."</s>
    <s id="1:107">"I don't think that's from eating too much—it's from missing someone too much...."</s>
    <s id="1:108">Wang Qiyao rolled her eyes.</s>
    <s id="1:109">"Oh no, I'm not singing Rendezvous at the Pavilion with you again!"</s>
    <s id="1:110">They seemed to have slipped back into their old ways—except that there was this new addition asleep on the bed.</s>
    <s id="1:111">Sparrows were pecking at crumbs on the windowsill and they could hear someone forcefully shaking out a comforter on a nearby balcony.</s>
    <s id="1:112">Kang Mingxun was just on his way out as Mr. Cheng came back from work.</s>
    <s id="1:113">Passing on the stairs, they exchanged a quick glance but neither left much of an impression on the other.</s>
    <s id="1:114">It wasn't until he got inside that Wang Qiyao explained that the man was her neighbor Madame Yan's cousin, the one she used to spend time with.</s>
    <s id="1:115">"It's almost dinner time.</s>
    <s id="1:116">How come you didn't ask him to stay for dinner?"</s>
    <s id="1:117">Mr. Cheng asked.</s>
    <s id="1:118">"We really don't have anything special to entertain a guest... so I thought it would be rude to invite him," she explained.</s>
    <s id="1:119">Mrs. Wang kept quiet but had a disgusted look on her face.</s>
    <s id="1:120">She went out of her way to be nice to Mr. Cheng, who wondered who had crossed her—he knew it wasn't him.</s>
    <s id="1:121">As usual, he spent some time playing with the baby after dinner.</s>
    <s id="1:122">Seeing the baby fed and contentedly asleep with her tiny fist in her mouth, he took his leave.</s>
    <s id="1:123">It was around eight o'clock.</s>
    <s id="1:124">People and cars passed back and forth under the bright city lights.</s>
    <s id="1:125">Instead of taking the trolley, Mr. Cheng draped his fall coat over his arm and walked home.</s>
    <s id="1:126">He took in the familiar scents of the city and soaked up the evening scene.</s>
    <s id="1:127">Now that the burden weighing on him for so long had been finally lifted, he felt relaxed: mother and child were safe and sound and the baby didn't bother him as he had originally feared.</s>
    <s id="1:128">In fact, Mr. Cheng was struck with a peculiar happiness; it was as if he, and not the child, had been given a new lease on life.</s>
    <s id="1:129">The late show was about to begin at the cinemas, which added a feeling of excitement to the night air.</s>
    <s id="1:130">The city still had the spirit of a night owl, and the same energy of years ago was still there.</s>
    <s id="1:131">The tricolor revolving pole outside the barbershop was the emblem of this unsleeping city.</s>
    <s id="1:132">The strong aroma of Brazilian coffee wafting out of Old Chang's gives the impression that time is flowing backward.</s>
    <s id="1:133">How exciting the night is!</s>
    <s id="1:134">Desire and contentment abound and, despite the compromises that have to be made, everyone gives their all, living life to the fullest.</s>
    <s id="1:135">Mr. Cheng's eyes grew moist and a strange excitement welled up in his heart, the like of which he had not experienced in a long time.</s>
    <s id="1:136">The next time Kang Mingxun showed up, Mrs. Wang did not go into the kitchen to avoid him.</s>
    <s id="1:137">She sat on the sofa reading a cartoon version of the Dream of the Red Chamber.</s>
    <s id="1:138">Wang Qiyao and Kang Mingxun couldn't help but feel awkward and fell back on making small talk about the weather.</s>
    <s id="1:139">When the baby woke up crying, Wang Qiyao asked Kang Mingxun to hand her a clean diaper.</s>
    <s id="1:140">To her dismay, her mother got up and, taking the diaper out of Kang Mingxun's hand, scolded her.</s>
    <s id="1:141">"How could you have the gentleman do this kind of thing?"</s>
    <s id="1:142">"I don't mind," explained Kang Mingxun.</s>
    <s id="1:143">"It's not like I'm busy with anything else. . . ."</s>
    <s id="1:144">"Right, let him help out," Wang Qiyao added.</s>
    <s id="1:145">Mrs. Wang drew a long face.</s>
    <s id="1:146">"Don't you have any manners?</s>
    <s id="1:147">How could you ask a gentleman like him to lay his hands on these filthy articles?</s>
    <s id="1:148">He is decent enough to treat you with respect and come to visit; but don't take it as a sign that you can walk all over him.</s>
    <s id="1:149">Show some tact!"</s>
    <s id="1:150">Stunned by the innuendo in her mother's sudden attack, Wang Qiyao burst into tears.</s>
    <s id="1:151">Mrs. Wang became even more incensed.</s>
    <s id="1:152">She flung the diaper in her daughter's face, screaming, "I try to help you save face, but you just don't seem to care!</s>
    <s id="1:153">You demean yourself, and it's all your own doing!</s>
    <s id="1:154">If you want to lead a life of shame, go ahead!</s>
    <s id="1:155">Nobody's going to be able to help you if you don't help yourself!"</s>
    <s id="1:156">With that, Mrs. Wang also burst out crying.</s>
    <s id="1:157">Kang Mingxun was thoroughly bemused; he had no idea what had brought this on.</s>
    <s id="1:158">Not knowing what else to do, he set about trying to mollify Mrs. Wang, "Please don't be upset, Auntie.</s>
    <s id="1:159">You know that Wang Qiyao has a good heart. . . ."</s>
    <s id="1:160">His words made Mrs. Wang laugh.</s>
    <s id="1:161">She turned to him, "Mister, you are very perceptive.</s>
    <s id="1:162">Wang Qiyao does indeed have a good heart.</s>
    <s id="1:163">She has no choice.</s>
    <s id="1:164">Where would she be if she didn't have a good heart?"</s>
    <s id="1:165">Suddenly Kang Mingxun realized that he was the object of her wrath.</s>
    <s id="1:166">He stepped back and stammered something inaudible.</s>
    <s id="1:167">At this point, the baby, whom no one had been tending to, began to howl.</s>
    <s id="1:168">Of the four people in the room, three were now in tears.</s>
    <s id="1:169">Aghast at the chaos, Kang Mingxun felt impelled to say, "It is less than a month since Wang Qiyao gave birth.</s>
    <s id="1:170">She should still be resting and we should try not to make her upset."</s>
    <s id="1:171">Mrs. Wang laughed coldly.</s>
    <s id="1:172">"Oh, so Wang Qiyao should be resting this month, should she?</s>
    <s id="1:173">That's funny, I didn't know.</s>
    <s id="1:174">With no man around to rely on, how is she supposed to be able to rest?</s>
    <s id="1:175">Will you explain that to me?"</s>
    <s id="1:176">Those words brought an abrupt end to Wang Qiyao's tears.</s>
    <s id="1:177">When she had finished changing and feeding the baby, she said, "Mom, you said I lack tact; but what about you?</s>
    <s id="1:178">How do you think it looks when you say such things in front of our guest?</s>
    <s id="1:179">After all, it's not as if he has anything to do with our family.</s>
    <s id="1:180">You're the one who is demeaning me—and yourself!</s>
    <s id="1:181">At any rate, I'll always be your daughter!"</s>
    <s id="1:182">Mrs. Wang was dumbstruck.</s>
    <s id="1:183">By the time she was ready to respond, Wang Qiyao cut her off.</s>
    <s id="1:184">"This gentleman has the decency to come by and pay his respects.</s>
    <s id="1:185">I would never dream of making any unseemly demands on him—and neither should you!</s>
    <s id="1:186">All my life I've had no one to rely on but myself; I make no other claims besides that.</s>
    <s id="1:187">I'm sorry to have troubled you to help out during this difficult time, but I promise you that I will repay you for your trouble."</s>
    <s id="1:188">Her remarks were directed at her mother, but they were also meant for Kang Mingxun.</s>
    <s id="1:189">Mother and daughter both fell silent for a time, until Ms. Wang wiped away her tears and murmured bleakly, "I see I've been worrying too much.</s>
    <s id="1:190">Well, you are almost through your first month, and it looks like I'm no longer needed here."</s>
    <s id="1:191">Even as she spoke, she began to gather up her personal effects.</s>
    <s id="1:192">Neither Wang Qiyao nor Kang Mingxun dared say a word to persuade her to stay.</s>
    <s id="1:193">They watched in shock as she packed her things and placed a red envelope on the baby's chest.</s>
    <s id="1:194">She went out the door and down the stairs; then they heard the sound of the downstairs door closing, and she was gone.</s>
    <s id="1:195">Inside the red envelope were 200 yuan and a gold pendant.</s>
    <s id="1:196">When Mr. Cheng arrived, he found Wang Qiyao out of bed cooking dinner in the kitchen.</s>
    <s id="1:197">He asked where Mrs. Wang had gone.</s>
    <s id="1:198">Wang Qiyao told him that her father was not feeling well and, since it was already almost a month since the birth, she had persuaded her mother to go home to look after him.</s>
    <s id="1:199">Mr. Cheng noticed her swollen eyes and guessed that she had been crying, but he decided not to press her and simply let things go at that.</s>
    <s id="1:200">With Mrs. Wang gone, the mood that evening was a bit dull.</s>
    <s id="1:201">Wang Qiyao was not very talkative and answered Mr. Cheng's questions absentmindedly, leaving her guest rather down.</s>
    <s id="1:202">Mr. Cheng sat off to one side and read the newspaper.</s>
    <s id="1:203">He read on for quite some time and the apartment grew quiet.</s>
    <s id="1:204">He thought that Wang Qiyao must be asleep, but when he looked over he saw that she had propped her head against the pillow and was staring up at the ceiling, lost in thought.</s>
    <s id="1:205">He quietly approached to ask what she was thinking.</s>
    <s id="1:206">The last thing he expected was for her to jerk back and ask him what he wanted.</s>
    <s id="1:207">There was alarm in her eyes and a distant look that made Mr. Cheng feel like a stranger.</s>
    <s id="1:208">He retreated to the sofa and went on with reading his newspaper.</s>
    <s id="1:209">All of a sudden, rowdy noises broke out from the longtang outside.</s>
    <s id="1:210">Opening the window to look out, Mr. Cheng saw that a crowd had gathered around a man holding up a weasel he had caught in his chicken coop.</s>
    <s id="1:211">After recounting the beast's crimes, the man carried it toward the entrance to the longtang with the crowd following close behind.</s>
    <s id="1:212">Mr. Cheng was about to close the window when he caught the scent of osmanthus blossoms in the air; it wasn't terribly strong, but the fragrance went straight to his heart.</s>
    <s id="1:213">He also noticed the narrow span of sky above Peace Lane—a deep, deep blue.</s>
    <s id="1:214">He felt exhilarated.</s>
    <s id="1:215">Turning to Wang Qiyao, he said, "Let's have a banquet to celebrate the child's one-month birthday."</s>
    <s id="1:216">Wang Qiyao did not say anything at first.</s>
    <s id="1:217">Then, breaking into a smile: "Is that cause for celebration?"</s>
    <s id="1:218">"Yes," Mr. Cheng said more earnestly.</s>
    <s id="1:219">"A first-month birthday is always a happy and auspicious occasion!"</s>
    <s id="1:220">"What's so happy and auspicious about it?"</s>
    <s id="1:221">Mr. Cheng did not know how to answer.</s>
    <s id="1:222">Although she had been the one to crush his excitement, he pitied her.</s>
    <s id="1:223">Wang Qiyao rolled over away from him.</s>
    <s id="1:224">After a pause, she continued, "Let's not fuss over this one-month celebration.</s>
    <s id="1:225">Let's simply make a few dishes, buy a bottle of wine, and invite Madame Yan and her cousin over.</s>
    <s id="1:226">They have been good to me, coming to see me and all."</s>
    <s id="1:227">That was enough to put Mr. Cheng back in high spirits.</s>
    <s id="1:228">He pondered what kind of soup and dishes they should serve.</s>
    <s id="1:229">Wang Qiyao objected to virtually every one of his suggestions, and he had to start from scratch.</s>
    <s id="1:230">They became more animated as they argued back and forth about the menu and gradually things went back to normal.</s>
    <s id="1:231">On the afternoon of the dinner Mr. Cheng left work early to pick up the food for that evening.</s>
    <s id="1:232">They put the baby to bed early and chatted as they cooked.</s>
    <s id="1:233">Mr. Cheng saw that Wang Qiyao was in a good mood, which also put him in a good mood.</s>
    <s id="1:234">They arranged the cold dishes in a delightful pattern, garnishing the plate with purple radishes.</s>
    <s id="1:235">Wang Qiyao declared, "Mr. Cheng, you're not only a great photographer, but you can cook too!"</s>
    <s id="1:236">"And you didn't even mention what I'm best at . . ."</s>
    <s id="1:237">"What's that?"</s>
    <s id="1:238">"Railroad engineering."</s>
    <s id="1:239">"I practically forgot your true calling.</s>
    <s id="1:240">You see, all along you have been entertaining us with your hobbies, and hiding your real talent!"</s>
    <s id="1:241">"It's not that I was trying to hide it....</s>
    <s id="1:242">I just never get the chance to show it off!"</s>
    <s id="1:243">Their jovial banter was interrupted by the guests, who had come bearing gifts.</s>
    <s id="1:244">Madame Yan brought a pound of cashmere yarn, and Kang Mingxun a pair of gold ingots.</s>
    <s id="1:245">Wang Qiyao wanted to tell him that he shouldn't have given such an expensive gift, but was worried that Madame Yan would take that as a sign that her gift wasn't lavish enough, so she decided to accept them both and save her misgivings for another day.</s>
    <s id="1:246">Everyone went inside to see the baby before dinner and they all commented on how precious she looked.</s>
    <s id="1:247">Since there were four of them, it worked out perfectly when they sat down at the table, one person on each side.</s>
    <s id="1:248">This was the first time that Mr. Cheng had met the evening's guests.</s>
    <s id="1:249">Madame Yan had taken note of him, but he had never noticed her, and he had only passed Kang Mingxun on the staircase, when neither could get a good look at the other.</s>
    <s id="1:250">Wang Qiyao made the introductions and they proceeded with dinner as if they were all acquainted.</s>
    <s id="1:251">Madame Yan already had a good impression of Mr. Cheng and was especially friendly toward him; it wasn't long before she felt like they were old friends.</s>
    <s id="1:252">Although Mr. Cheng was a bit overwhelmed by her warmth, he realized she had nothing but the best intentions.</s>
    <s id="1:253">Kang Mingxun, on the other hand, was stiff and subdued.</s>
    <s id="1:254">He said little, focusing on the warm rice wine.</s>
    <s id="1:255">They finished off the first bottle rather quickly and started on a second.</s>
    <s id="1:256">Mr. Cheng excused himself so he could go to the kitchen to prepare another dish, but seeing he was a bit tipsy, Wang Qiyao put her hand on his shoulder, motioning him to sit back down, and insisted that she take care of it.</s>
    <s id="1:257">He gently caressed the hand on his shoulder, but she instinctively pulled it away.</s>
    <s id="1:258">Kang Mingxun, in spite of himself, flashed Mr. Cheng a rather sharp glance.</s>
    <s id="1:259">The effect on Mr. Cheng was instantaneously sobering.</s>
    <s id="1:260">Wang Qiyao returned to the table with the new dish she had just whipped up.</s>
    <s id="1:261">By then even Madame Yan, whose cheeks were red, was getting a bit tipsy.</s>
    <s id="1:262">She proposed a toast to Mr. Cheng, declaring him a rare gentleman and even quoting the old adage, "It's easier to find ten thousand ounces of gold than a true friend who can really understand you."</s>
    <s id="1:263">Her words were inappropriate to the occasion; obviously, alcohol was bringing out some hidden truths.</s>
    <s id="1:264">Not content to propose a toast on her own, she insisted that Kang Mingxun also drink to Mr. Cheng.</s>
    <s id="1:265">Kang Mingxun raised his cup but didn't know quite what to say.</s>
    <s id="1:266">As the rest of the party waited anxiously, he finally came out with something that sounded even more inappropriate.</s>
    <s id="1:267">"Here's to Mr. Cheng soon finding matrimonial bliss!"</s>
    <s id="1:268">Mr. Cheng accepted their toast with equanimity and a "thank you."</s>
    <s id="1:269">Then, turning to Wang Qiyao, he asked if she had anything to say.</s>
    <s id="1:270">Wang Qiyao was a bit disconcerted by the unfamiliar glint in his eyes—she wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or something else—so she put on a placating smile.</s>
    <s id="1:271">"Naturally, I should have been the first one to toast Mr. Cheng.</s>
    <s id="1:272">Just as Madame Yan said, it is easier to find ten thousand ounces of gold than a true friend.</s>
    <s id="1:273">No one else here understands me the way Mr. Cheng does.</s>
    <s id="1:274">He has always been there for me during my most difficult times.</s>
    <s id="1:275">And for all the mistakes I have made, he has always forgiven me.</s>
    <s id="1:276">I owe him a debt of gratitude that I will never be able to repay."</s>
    <s id="1:277">Conscious that it was the alcohol that had emboldened her to open up, Mr. Cheng couldn't help being at once deeply disappointed and hurt by her words; all she spoke of was gratitude, with not a word about love.</s>
    <s id="1:278">On the brink of tears, he lowered his head.</s>
    <s id="1:279">Only after a long pause did he manage to force a smile and say,</s>
    <s id="1:280">"Hey, we're not here to celebrate my one-month birthday!</s>
    <s id="1:281">Why is everyone toasting me?</s>
    <s id="1:282">Drinking to Wang Qiyao would be more like it!"</s>
    <s id="1:283">And so, with Madame Yan leading the way, they all toasted Wang Qiyao.</s>
    <s id="1:284">But, perhaps because they had all talked too much already, no one had much left to say.</s>
    <s id="1:285">So they just drank, one cup after another.</s>
    <s id="1:286">Mr. Cheng's eyes met Kang Mingxun's once again.</s>
    <s id="1:287">They stared mutely at each other, neither fully understanding the circumstances.</s>
    <s id="1:288">But the seeds of suspicion had been planted.</s>
    <s id="1:289">Everyone drank more than they should have that evening.</s>
    <s id="1:290">Mr. Cheng couldn't remember how he had seen the guests out or whether he had washed the dishes after they left.</s>
    <s id="1:291">He woke up to discover himself on Wang Qiyao's sofa, a thin blanket draped over him.</s>
    <s id="1:292">Leftover food was still on the table, and the room was filled with the sweet and sour fragrance of rice wine.</s>
    <s id="1:293">The moon shining through the curtains on his face was cool as water.</s>
    <s id="1:294">He felt utterly at peace as he watched the moonlight dancing on the curtain; he decided to let his mind go blank and not worry about anything that had happened that night.</s>
    <s id="1:295">Suddenly he heard a gentle voice ask, "Would you care for some tea?"</s>
    <s id="1:296">He followed the voice and saw Wang Qiyao lying in bed across the room.</s>
    <s id="1:297">She had also woken up, but her face was obscured by the shadows and Mr. Cheng could only make out her silhouette.</s>
    <s id="1:298">Mr. Cheng did not feel awkward; on the contrary, he was filled with a sense of serenity.</s>
    <s id="1:299">"I'm so embarrassed!" he said.</s>
    <s id="1:300">Wang Qiyao responded with a silent laugh.</s>
    <s id="1:301">"You fell asleep with your head on the table.</s>
    <s id="1:302">It took the three of us to get you onto the sofa."</s>
    <s id="1:303">"I drank too much," he said.</s>
    <s id="1:304">"But that was only because I was happy."</s>
    <s id="1:305">After a silence, Wang Qiyao responded, "Actually . . . you drank so much because you were upset. . . ."</s>
    <s id="1:306">Mr. Cheng laughed.</s>
    <s id="1:307">"What's there for me to be upset about?</s>
    <s id="1:308">I was really happy."</s>
    <s id="1:309">Neither of them spoke and gradually the moonlight shifted a bit closer.</s>
    <s id="1:310">Bathed in the moonlight, Mr. Cheng had the sensation that he was lying in water.</s>
    <s id="1:311">Quite some time passed, and he was certain that Wang Qiyao must have long fallen asleep, when she suddenly called out his name.</s>
    <s id="1:312">He was surprised to hear her call him.</s>
    <s id="1:313">"What is it?"</s>
    <s id="1:314">Wang Qiyao hesitated before asking, "Can't you get to sleep?"</s>
    <s id="1:315">"I think I got all the sleep I needed when I passed out earlier!"</s>
    <s id="1:316">"That's not what I meant. . . ."</s>
    <s id="1:317">"I think I know quite well what you meant," insisted Mr. Cheng.</s>
    <s id="1:318">"I don't think so. . . ."</s>
    <s id="1:319">Mr. Cheng laughed, "Of course I do."</s>
    <s id="1:320">"If you understand what I meant, then why don't you tell me...?"</s>
    <s id="1:321">"If that's what you want, I will then," replied Mr. Cheng.</s>
    <s id="1:322">"You meant that all this time we have been but just one step away from taking our relationship somewhere else.</s>
    <s id="1:323">And if I were to take that step, you would not refuse me."</s>
    <s id="1:324">Wang Qiyao marveled at Mr. Cheng's perceptiveness, especially since he usually came off so stiff and bookish.</s>
    <s id="1:325">Embarrassed, she tried to find an excuse to explain things away.</s>
    <s id="1:326">"I know I don't deserve you . . . and that's why I wanted to wait for you to make the first move."</s>
    <s id="1:327">Mr. Cheng laughed again.</s>
    <s id="1:328">He felt extremely relaxed, as if floating on air.</s>
    <s id="1:329">When he spoke, it felt almost as if someone else was doing the talking, but the words that came out were indeed his deepest and most honest inner thoughts.</s>
    <s id="1:330">"We talked about taking that one last step. . . .</s>
    <s id="1:331">Well, I have been waiting practically half my life to take that step.</s>
    <s id="1:332">But it's not as easy as it sounds.</s>
    <s id="1:333">Have you ever heard the saying, 'People can be a short distance away, yet poles apart'?</s>
    <s id="1:334">There are a lot of things in life that simply can't be forced."</s>
    <s id="1:335">Wang Qiyao remained silent and Mr. Cheng, unconcerned as to whether she was really listening, continued to pour out the feelings he had accumulated inside himself all those years.</s>
    <s id="1:336">He explained how he had long ago come to understand this principle.</s>
    <s id="1:337">So long as they could be close friends, confidants, he thought, his life would not have been in vain.</s>
    <s id="1:338">But once people are together, it is as the saying goes: "A boat sailing against the current must forge ahead or else be driven back."</s>
    <s id="1:339">"I would be lying if I said that I didn't have the desire to forge ahead . . . but when the boat won't go forward anymore . . . all I can do is turn back."</s>
    <s id="1:340">After a long silence, he suddenly asked, "Kang Mingxun is the father, isn't he?"</s>
    <s id="1:341">Wang Qiyao laughed, "What does it matter whether he is or not?"</s>
    <s id="1:342">Mr. Cheng grew a bit self-conscious.</s>
    <s id="1:343">"I was only asking."</s>
    <s id="1:344">The two of them turned over, away from each other, and before long they were both fast asleep, snoring lightly.</s>
    <s id="1:345">The following day Mr. Cheng did not show up at Wang Qiyao's after work—he went to see Jiang Lili instead.</s>
    <s id="1:346">He had called her at her office, and they agreed to meet on Tilan Bridge.</s>
    <s id="1:347">By the time Mr. Cheng arrived, Jiang Lili was already standing there waiting, constantly looking at her watch.</s>
    <s id="1:348">She had clearly arrived too early but insisted on blaming Mr. Cheng for being late.</s>
    <s id="1:349">Mr. Cheng refused to argue with her.</s>
    <s id="1:350">They found a small restaurant nearby, went in, and ordered a few dishes.</s>
    <s id="1:351">As soon as the waiter turned away, Mr. Cheng bent over the table and started to cry, a stream of tears falling steadily on the bleached table cloth.</s>
    <s id="1:352">Jiang Lili could pretty much figure out what had happened, but made no effort to comfort him.</s>
    <s id="1:353">All she offered was silence as she silently fixed her gaze on the ashen wall, which had recently been stained a pale white.</s>
    <s id="1:354">At that moment, all Mr. Cheng was focused on was his own pain, and he made no effort to understand what Jiang Lili might be feeling.</s>
    <s id="1:355">Even people as good-natured and generous as Mr. Cheng can become extremely selfish and unfair in love.</s>
    <s id="1:356">They tiptoe around their loved ones, fearful of giving offense; but with the people who love them they are thoroughly inconsiderate and arrogant, behaving like spoiled brats.</s>
    <s id="1:357">This was what had motivated him to seek out Jiang Lili.</s>
    <s id="1:358">Jiang Lili did not speak for a long time.</s>
    <s id="1:359">Then, seeing that he was still crying, she sneered, "What's wrong?</s>
    <s id="1:360">Went out and got your heart broken, did you?"</s>
    <s id="1:361">Mr. Cheng gradually stopped crying and sat in silence.</s>
    <s id="1:362">Jiang Lili had the urge to taunt him further, but, taking pity on him, softened up.</s>
    <s id="1:363">"You know, it seems like the harder we try to get something, the more elusive it becomes.</s>
    <s id="1:364">But when we don't want something, it ends up falling into our lap."</s>
    <s id="1:365">Mr. Cheng asked softly, "And what if one gives up on something but it still remains elusive?"</s>
    <s id="1:366">Jiang Lili was livid.</s>
    <s id="1:367">She raised her voice, "What, are all the women in the world dead?</s>
    <s id="1:368">Don't tell me that I'm the only one left?</s>
    <s id="1:369">Sent here to listen to you ramble on about your grievances over her?"</s>
    <s id="1:370">Mr. Cheng lowered his head contritely and was silent.</s>
    <s id="1:371">Jiang Lili also gave up speaking to him, and the two of them sat for some time in an awkward silence.</s>
    <s id="1:372">In the end, it was Mr. Cheng who continued.</s>
    <s id="1:373">"Actually, I came here to ask a favor of you. . . .</s>
    <s id="1:374">I'm not sure what made me break down like that.</s>
    <s id="1:375">I'm so sorry."</s>
    <s id="1:376">Somewhat mollified, Jiang Lili told him to go ahead and say what he had to say.</s>
    <s id="1:377">"I've been thinking about this for a long time, and you are the only one I can go to for help.</s>
    <s id="1:378">I know it's not right, but there is no one else I can turn to."</s>
    <s id="1:379">"Whatever it is, let's hear it!"</s>
    <s id="1:380">Mr. Cheng explained that he would never again visit Wang Qiyao.</s>
    <s id="1:381">He wanted to ask Jiang Lili to look out for her.</s>
    <s id="1:382">Jiang Lili did not know whether to be angry or bitter.</s>
    <s id="1:383">It took a long time before she managed to say, "Well I guess all the women in the world are dead . . . even me."</s>
    <s id="1:384">Mr. Cheng took her ridicule in stride and Jiang Lili stopped herself from saying more.</s>
    <s id="1:385">Wang Qiyao waited for Mr. Cheng's return.</s>
    <s id="1:386">She waited several days, but in the end it was Jiang Lili who came to visit.</s>
    <s id="1:387">She had come straight from work in Yangshupu and had had to transfer several times on the bus.</s>
    <s id="1:388">By the time she got there, her hair was disheveled, her shoes were covered with dust, and she was quite hoarse.</s>
    <s id="1:389">She carried a netted bag stuffed with fruits, crackers, milk powder, and a barely used bed sheet.</s>
    <s id="1:390">She emptied everything out onto the table before Wang Qiyao could stop her, and with several forceful motions, ripped the bed sheet into several small pieces to be used as diapers.</s>
  </p>
</text>
