雷志成和杨卫宁遇难后，上级很快以普通工作事故处理了这件事，在基地所有人眼中，叶文洁和杨卫宁感情很好，谁也没有对她起疑心。	The deaths of Lei and Yang were treated as accidents. Everybody at the base knew that Ye and Yang were a happy couple, and no one suspected her.
新来的基地政委很快上任，生活又恢复了以往的宁静，叶文洁腹中的小生命一天天长大，同时，她也感到了外部世界的变化。	A new commissar came to the base, and life returned to its habitual peace. The tiny life inside Ye grew bigger every day, and she also felt the world outside change.
这天，警卫排排长叫叶文洁到门岗去一趟。	One day, the security platoon commander asked Ye to come to the gatehouse at the entrance to the base.
她走进岗亭，吃了一惊：这里有三个孩子，两男一女，十五六岁的样子，都穿着旧棉袄，戴着狗皮帽，一看就是当地人。	When she entered the gatehouse, she was surprised to see three children: two boys and a girl, about fifteen or sixteen. They all wore old coats and dog fur hats, obviously locals.
哨兵告诉她，他们是齐家屯的，听说雷达峰上都是有学问的人，就想来问几个学习上的问题。	The guard on duty told her that they came from the village of Qijiatun. They had heard that the people on Radar Peak were learned and had come to ask some questions related to their studies.
叶文洁暗想，他们怎么敢上雷达峰？	Ye wondered how they dared to come onto Radar Peak.
这里是绝对的军事禁区，岗哨对擅自接近者只需警告一次就可以开枪。	This was a restricted military zone, and the guards were authorized to warn intruders only once before shooting.
哨兵看出了叶文洁的疑惑，告诉她刚接到命令，红岸基地的保密级别降低了，当地人只要不进入基地，就可以上雷达峰来，昨天已经来过几个当地农民，是来送菜的。	The guard saw that Ye was puzzled and explained that they had just received orders that Red Coast Base's security rating had been reduced. The locals were allowed onto Radar Peak as long as they stayed outside the base. Several local peasants had already come yesterday to bring vegetables.
一个孩子拿出一本已经翻得很破旧的初中物理课本，他的手黑乎乎的，像树皮一般满是皴裂，他用浓重的东北口音问了一个中学物理的问题：课本上说自由落体开始一直加速，但最后总会以匀速下落，他们想了几个晚上，都想不明白。	One of the children took out a worn-out middle school physics textbook. His hands were dirty and cracked like tree bark. In a thick Northeastern accent, he asked a simple physics question: The textbook said that a body in free fall is under constant acceleration but will always reach a terminal velocity. They had been thinking about this for several nights and could not understand why.
“你们跑这么远，就为问这个？” 叶文洁问。	"You walked all this way just to ask this?" Ye asked.
“叶老师，您不知道吗？ 外头高考了！” 那女孩儿兴高采烈地说。	"Teacher Ye, don't you know that they've restarted the exam?" the girl said excitedly.
“高考？”	"The exam?"
“就是上大学呀！	"The National College Entrance Exam!
谁学习好，谁考的分高谁就能上！	Whoever studies hard and gets the best score gets to go to college!
一年前就是了，您还不知道？！”	It began two years ago. Didn't you know?"
“不推荐了？”	"There's no need for recommendations anymore?"
“不了，谁都可以考，连村里‘黑五类’的娃都行呢！”	"No. Anyone can take the exam. Even the children of the Five Black Categories in the village can take it."
叶文洁愣了半天，这个变化很让她感慨。	Ye was stunned. This change left her with mixed feelings.
过了好一会儿，她才发现面前捧着书的孩子们还等着，赶忙紧回答他们的问题，告诉他们那是由于空气阻力与重力平衡的缘故；同时还许诺，如果以后有学习上的困难，可以随时来找她。	Only after a while did she realize that the children were still waiting with their books held up. She hurriedly answered their question, explaining that it was due to air resistance reaching equilibrium against the force of gravity. Then she promised that if they encountered any difficulties in their studies in the future, they could always come to her for help.
三天后，又有七个孩子来找叶文洁，除了上次来过的三个外，其他四个都是从更远的村镇来的。	Three days later, seven children came to seek Ye. In addition to the three who had come last time, there were four more from villages located even farther away.
第三次来找她的孩子是十五个，同来的还有一位镇中学的老师，由于缺人，他物理、数学和化学都教，他来向叶文洁请教一些教学上的问题。	The third time, fifteen children came to find her, and even a teacher at a small-town high school came along. Because there was a shortage of teachers, he had to teach physics, math, and chemistry, and he came to ask Ye for some help on teaching.
这人已年过半百，满脸风霜，在叶文洁面前手忙脚乱，书什么的倒了一地。	The man was over fifty years old, and his face was already full of wrinkles. He was very nervous in front of Ye, and spilled books everywhere.
走出岗亭后，叶文洁听到他对学生们说：“娃娃们，科学家，这可是正儿八经的科学家啊！”	After they left the gatehouse, Ye heard him say to the students: "Children, that was a scientist. A real, bona fide scientist!"
以后隔三差五地就有孩子来请教，有时来的人很多，岗亭里站不下，经过基地负责安全警卫的领导同意，由哨兵带着他们到食堂的饭厅里，叶文洁就在那儿支起一块小黑板给孩子们讲课。	After that, children would come to her for tutoring every few days. Sometimes there were so many of them that the gatehouse couldn't accommodate them all. With the permission of the officers in charge of base security, the guards would escort them to the cafeteria. There, Ye put up a small blackboard and taught the children.
1978年的除夕夜，叶文洁下班后天已经完全黑了，基地的人大部分已在三天假期中下了山，到处都是一片寂静。	It was dark by the time Ye got off work on the eve of Chinese New Year, 1980. Most people at the base had already left Radar Peak for the three-day holiday, and it was quiet everywhere.
叶文洁回到自己的房间，这里曾是她和杨卫宁的家，现在空荡荡的，只有腹中的孩子陪伴着她。	Ye returned to her room. This was once the home of her and Yang Weining, but now it was empty, her only companion the unborn child within her.
外面的寒夜中，大兴安岭的寒风呼啸着，风中隐隐传来远处齐家屯的鞭炮声。	In the night outside, the cold wind of the Greater Khingan Mountains screamed, carrying with it the faint sound of firecrackers going off in the village of Qijiatun.
孤寂像一只巨掌压着叶文洁，她觉得自己被越压越小，最后缩到这个世界看不到的一个小角落去了……	Loneliness pressed down on Ye like a giant hand, and she felt herself being crushed; compressed until she was so small that she disappeared into an invisible corner of the universe....
就在这时，响起了敲门声，开门后叶文洁首先看到哨兵，他身后有几支松明子的火光在寒风中摇曳着，举火把的是一群孩子，他们脸冻得通红，狗皮帽上有冰碴子，进屋后带着一股寒气。	Just then, someone knocked on her door. When she opened it, Ye first saw the guard, and then, behind him, the fire of several pine branch torches flickering in the cold wind. The torches were held aloft by a crowd of children, their faces bright red from the cold, and icicles hung from their hats. When they came into her room, they seemed to bring the cold air in with them.
有两个男孩子冻得最厉害，他们穿得很单薄，却用两件厚棉衣裹着一个什么东西抱在怀里，把棉衣打开来，是一个大瓷盆，里面的酸菜猪肉馅饺子还冒着热气。	Two of the boys, thinly dressed, had suffered the most. They had taken off their thick coats and wrapped them around something that they carried in their arms. Unwrapping the coats revealed a large pot, the fermented cabbage and pork dumplings inside still steaming hot.
那一年，在向太阳发出信号八个月后，叶文洁临产了，由于胎位不正，她的身体又很弱，基地卫生所没有条件接生，就把她送到了最近的镇医院。	That year, eight months after she sent her signal toward the sun, Ye went into labor. Because the baby was malpositioned and her body was weak, the base clinic couldn't handle her case and had to send her to the nearest town hospital.
这竟是叶文洁的一个鬼门关，她遇到了难产，在剧痛和大出血后陷入昏迷，冥冥中只看到三个灼热刺眼的太阳围绕着她缓缓转动，残酷地炙烤着她。	This became one of the hardest times in Ye's life. After enduring a great deal of pain and losing a large amount of blood, she sank into a coma. Through a blur she could only see three hot, blinding suns slowly orbiting around her, cruelly roasting her body.
这情景持续了很长时间后，她在朦胧中想到，这可能就是她永恒的归宿了，这就是她的地狱，三个太阳构成的地狱之火将永远灼烧着她，这是她因那个超级背叛受到的惩罚。	This state lasted for some time, and she hazily thought it was probably the end for her. It was her hell. The fire of the three suns would torment her and burn her forever. This was punishment for her betrayal, the betrayal that exceeded all others.
她陷入强烈的恐惧中，不是为自己，而是为孩子——孩子还在腹中吗？	She sank into terror: not for her, but for her unborn child—was the child still in her?
还是随着她来到这地狱中蒙受永恒的痛苦？	Or had she already been born into this hell to suffer eternally with her?
不知过了多久，三个太阳渐渐后退了，退到一定距离后突然缩小，变成了晶莹的飞星，周围凉爽了，疼痛也在减轻，她终于醒了过来。	She didn't know how much time had passed. Gradually the three suns moved farther away. After a certain distance, they suddenly shrank and turned into crystalline flying stars. The air around her cooled, and her pain lessened. She finally awoke.
叶文洁听到耳边的一声啼哭，她吃力地转过脸，看到了婴儿粉嘟嘟、湿乎乎的小脸儿。	Ye heard a cry next to her. Turning her head with great effort, she saw the baby's pink, wet, little face.
医生告诉叶文洁，她出血达两千多毫升，齐家屯的几十位农民来给她献血，他们中很多人的孩子她都辅导过，但更多的是素昧平生，只是听孩子和他们的父母说起过她，要不是他们的话，她死定了。	The doctor told Ye that she had lost more than 2,000 ml of blood. Dozens of peasants from Qijiatun had come to donate blood to her. Many of the peasants had children who Ye had tutored, but most had no connection to her at all, having only heard her name from the children and their parents. Without them, she would certainly have died.
以后的日子成了问题，叶文洁产后虚弱，在基地自己带孩子是不可能的，她又无亲无故。	Ye's living situation became a problem after the birth of her child. The difficult birth had damaged her health. It was impossible for her to stay at the base with the baby all by herself, and she had no relatives who could help.
这时，齐家屯的一对老人来找基地领导，说他们可以把叶文洁和孩子带回家去照顾。	Just then, an old couple living in Qijiatun came to talk to the base leaders and explained that they could take Ye and her baby home with them and take care of them.
男的原来是个猎户，也采些药材，后来周围的林子越来越少，就种地了，但人们还是叫他齐猎头儿。	The old man used to be a hunter and also gathered some herbs for traditional medicine. Later, after the forest around the area was lost to logging, the couple had turned to farming, but people still called him Hunter Qi out of habit.
他们有两儿两女，女孩都嫁出去了，一个儿子在外地当兵，另一个成家后与他们一起过，儿媳妇也是刚生了娃。	They had two sons and two daughters. The daughters were married and had moved out. One of the sons was a soldier away from home, and the other was married and lived with them. The daughter-in-law had also just given birth.
叶文洁这时还没有平反，基地领导很是为难，但也只有这一个办法了，就让他们用雪橇把叶文洁从镇医院接回了家。	Ye still hadn't been rehabilitated politically, and the base leadership was unsure about this suggested solution. But in the end, there was no other way, and so they allowed the couple to take Ye and the baby home from the hospital on a sled.
叶文洁在这个大兴安岭的农家住了半年多，她产后虚弱，没有奶水，这期间，杨冬吃着百家奶长大了。	Ye lived for more than half a year with this peasant family in the Greater Khingan Mountains. She was so weak after giving birth that her milk did not come in. During this time, the baby girl, Yang Dong, was breastfed by all the women of the village.
喂她最多的是齐猎头儿的儿媳妇，叫大凤，这个健壮的东北妮子每天吃着高粱米大渣子，同时奶两个娃，奶水还是旺旺的。	The one who nursed her the most was Hunter Qi's daughter-in-law, called Feng. Feng had the strong, solid frame of the women of the Northeast. She ate sorghum every day, and her large breasts were full of milk even though she was feeding two babies at the same time.
屯子里其他处于哺乳期的媳妇们也都来喂杨冬，她们很喜欢她，说这娃儿有她妈的灵气儿。	Other nursing women in Qijiatun also came to feed Yang Dong. They liked her, saying that the baby had the same clever air as her mother.
渐渐地，齐猎头儿家成了屯里女人们的聚集地，老的少的，出嫁了的和大闺女，没事儿都爱向这儿跑，她们对叶文洁充满了羡慕和好奇，她也发现自己与她们有很多女人间的话可谈。	Gradually, Hunter Qi's home became the gathering place for all the women of the village. Old and young, matrons and maidens, they all liked to stop by when they had nothing else going on. They admired Ye and were curious about her, and she found that she had many women's topics to discuss with them.
记不清有多少个晴朗的日子，叶文洁抱着杨冬同屯子里的女人们坐在白桦树柱围成的院子里，旁边有玩耍的孩子和懒洋洋的大黑狗，温暖的阳光拥抱着这一切。	On countless days, Ye held Yang Dong and sat with the other women of the village in the yard, surrounded by birch posts. Next to her was a lazy black dog and the playing children, bathing in the warm sunlight.
她每次都特别注意看那几个举着铜烟袋锅儿的，她们嘴里悠然吐出的烟浸满了阳光，同她们那丰满肌肤上的汗毛一样，发出银亮的柔光。	She paid attention especially to the women with the copper tobacco pipes. Leisurely, they blew smoke out of their mouths, and the smoke, filled with sunlight, gave off a silvery glow much like the fine hairs on their plump limbs.
有一次她们中的一位将长长的白铜烟锅递给她，让她“解解乏”，她只抽了两口，就被冲得头昏脑涨，让她们笑了好几天。	One time, one of them handed her the long-stemmed cupronickel pipe and told her it would make her feel better. She took only two hits before she became dizzy, and they laughed about it for several days.
同男人们叶文洁倒是没什么话说，他们每天关心的事儿她也听不太明白，大意是想趁着政策松下来种些人参，但又不太敢干。	As for the men, Ye had little to say to them. The matters that occupied them all day also seemed outside her understanding. She gathered that they were interested in planting some ginseng for cash while the government seemed to be relaxing policies a little, but they didn't quite have the courage to try.
他们对叶文洁都很敬重，在她面前彬彬有礼。	They all treated Ye with great respect and were very polite toward her.
她最初对此没有在意，但日子长了后，当她看到那些汉子如何粗暴地打老婆，如何同屯里的寡妇打情骂俏时，说出那些让她听半句都脸红的话，才感到这种敬重的珍贵。	She didn't pay much attention to this at first. But after a while, after observing how those men roughly beat their wives and flirted outrageously with the widows in the village, saying things that made her blush, she finally realized how precious their respect was.
隔三差五，他们总有人把打到的野兔山鸡什么的送到齐猎头儿家，还给杨冬带来许多自己做的奇特而古朴的玩具。	Every few days, one of them would bring a hare or pheasant he had caught to Hunter Qi's home. They also gave Yang Dong strange and quaint toys that they'd made with their own hands.
在叶文洁的记忆中，这段日子不像是属于自己的，仿佛是从别的人生中飘落的片断，像一片羽毛般飞入自己的生活。	In Ye's memory, these months seemed to belong to someone else, like a segment of another life that had drifted into hers like a feather.
这段记忆被浓缩成一幅幅欧洲古典油画，很奇怪，不是中国画，就是油画，中国画上空白太多，但齐家屯的生活是没有空白的，像古典的油画那样，充满着浓郁得化不开的色彩。	This period condensed in her memory into a series of classical paintings—not Chinese brush paintings but European oil paintings. Chinese brush paintings are full of blank spaces, but life in Qijiatun had no blank spaces. Like classical oil paintings, it was filled with thick, rich, solid colors.
一切都是浓烈和温热的：铺着厚厚乌拉草的火坑、铜烟锅里的关东烟和莫合烟、厚实的高粱饭、六十五度的高粱酒…… 但这一切，又都在宁静与平和中流逝着，像屯子边上的小溪一样。	Everything was warm and intense: the heated kang stove-beds lined with thick layers of ura sedge, the Guandong and Mohe tobacco stuffed in copper pipes, the thick and heavy sorghum meal, the sixty-five-proof baijiu distilled from sorghum—all of these blended into a quiet and peaceful life, like the creek at the edge of the village.
最令叶文洁难忘的是那些夜晚。	Most memorable to Ye were the evenings.
齐猎头儿的儿子到城里卖蘑菇去了，他是屯里第一个外出挣钱的人，她就和大凤住在一起。	Hunter Qi's son was away in the city selling mushrooms—the first to leave the village to earn money elsewhere, so she shared a room in his house with Feng.
那时齐家屯还没通电，每天晚上，她们俩守在一盏油灯旁，叶文洁看书，大凤做针线活。	Back then, there was no electricity in the village, and every evening, the two huddled around a kerosene lamp. Ye would read while Feng did her needlework.
叶文洁总是不自觉地将书和眼睛凑近油灯，常常刘海被烤得吱啦一下，这时她俩就抬头相视而笑。	Ye would lean closer and closer to the lamp without noticing, and her bangs would often get singed, at which point the two of them would glance up and smile at each other.
大凤从来没出过这事儿，她的眼神极好，借着炭火的光也能干细活儿。	Feng, of course, never had this happen to her. She had very sharp eyes, and could do detailed work even in the dim light from heating charcoal.
两个不到半周岁的孩子睡在她身边的炕上，他们的睡相令人陶醉，屋里能听到的，只有他们均匀的呼吸声。	The two babies, not even half a year old, would be sleeping together on the kang next to them. Ye loved to watch them sleep, their even breathing the only sound in the room.
叶文洁最初睡不惯火炕，总是上火，后来习惯了，睡梦中，她常常感觉自己变成了婴儿，躺在一个人温暖的怀抱里，这感觉是那么真切，她几次醒后都泪流满面——但那个人不是父亲和母亲，也不是死去的丈夫，她不知道是谁。	At first, Ye did not like sleeping on the heated kang, and often got sick, but she gradually got used to it. As she slept, she would imagine herself becoming a baby sleeping in someone's warm lap. The person who held her wasn't her father or mother, or her dead husband. She didn't know who it was. The feeling was so real that she would wake up with tears on her face.
有一次，她放下书，看到大凤把纳着的鞋底放到膝上，呆呆地看着灯花。	One time, she put down her book and saw that Feng was holding the cloth shoe she was stitching over her knee and staring into the kerosene lamp without moving.
发现叶文洁在看自己，大凤突然问：“姐，你说天上的星星咋的就不会掉下来呢？”	When she realized that Ye was looking at her, Feng asked, "Sister, why do you think the stars in the sky don't fall down?"
叶文洁细看大凤，油灯是一位卓越的画家，创作了这幅凝重色调中又带着明快的古典油画：	Ye examined Feng. The kerosene lamp was a wonderful artist and created a classical painting with dignified colors and bright strokes:
大凤披着棉袄，红肚兜和一条圆润的胳膊露出来，油灯突出了她的形象，在她最美的部位涂上了最醒目的色彩，将其余部分高明地隐没于黑暗中。 背景也隐去了，一切都淹没于一片柔和的黑暗中，但细看还是能看到一片暗红的光晕，这光晕不是来自油灯，而是地上的炭火照出来的，可以看到，外面的严寒已开始用屋里温暖的湿气在窗户上雕出美丽的冰纹了。	Feng had her coat draped over her shoulders, exposing her red belly-band, and a strong, graceful arm. The glow from the kerosene lamp painted her figure with vivid, warm colors, while the rest of the room dissolved into a gentle darkness. Close attention revealed a dim red glow, which didn't come from the kerosene lamp, but the heating charcoal on the ground. The cold air outside sculpted beautiful ice patterns on the windowpanes with the room's warm, humid air.
“你害怕星星掉下来吗？”	"You're afraid of the stars falling down?"
叶文洁轻轻地问。	Ye asked softly.
大凤笑着摇摇头，“怕啥呢？	Feng laughed and shook her head. "What's there to be afraid of?
它们那么小。”	They're so tiny."
叶文洁终于还是没有做出一个天体物理学家的回答，她只是说：“它们都很远很远，掉不下来的。”	Ye did not give her the answer of an astrophysicist. She only said, "They're very, very far away. They can't fall."
大凤对这回答已经很满意，又埋头做起针线活儿来。	Feng was satisfied with this answer, and went back to her needlework.
但叶文洁却心绪起伏，她放下书，躺到温暖的炕面上，微闭着双眼，在想象中隐去这间小屋周围的整个宇宙，就像油灯将小屋中的大部分隐没于黑暗中一样。	But Ye could no longer be at peace. She put down her book and lay down on the warm surface of the kang, closing her eyes. In her imagination, the rest of the universe around their tiny cottage disappeared, just the way the kerosene lamp hid most of the room in darkness.
然后，她将大凤心中的宇宙置换过来。	Then she substituted the universe in Feng's heart for the real one.
这时，夜空是一个黑色的巨大球面，大小正好把世界扣在其中，球面上镶着无数的星星，晶莹地发着银光，每个都不比床边旧木桌上的那面圆镜子大。	The night sky was a black dome that was just large enough to cover the entirety of the world. The surface of the dome was inlaid with countless stars shining with a crystalline silver light, none of which was bigger than the mirror on the old wooden table next to the bed.
世界是平的，向各个方向延伸到很远很远，但总是有边的。	The world was flat and extended very far in each direction, but ultimately there was an edge where it met the sky.
这个大平面上布满了大兴安岭这样的山脉，也布满了森林，林间点缀着一个个像齐家屯一样的村庄……	The flat surface was covered with mountain ranges like the Greater Khingan Mountains, and with forests dotted with tiny villages, just like Qijiatun....
这个玩具盒般的宇宙令她感到分外舒适，渐渐地这宇宙由想象变成了梦乡。	This toy-box-like universe comforted Ye, and gradually it shifted from her imagination into her dreams.
在这个大兴安岭深处的小山村里，叶文洁心中的什么东西渐渐融化了，在她心灵的冰原上，融出了小小的一汪清澈的湖泊。	In this tiny mountain hamlet deep in the Greater Khingan Mountains, something finally thawed in Ye Wenjie's heart. In the frozen tundra of her soul, a tiny, clear lake of meltwater appeared.
杨冬出生后，在红岸基地，时间在紧张和平静中又过去了两年多。	Ye eventually returned to Red Coast Base with Yang Dong. Another two years passed, divided between anxiety and peace.
这时，叶文洁接到了通知，她和父亲的案件都被彻底平反；不久之后又收到了母校的信，说她可以立刻回去工作。	Ye then received a notice: Both she and her father had been politically rehabilitated. Soon after, a letter arrived for her from Tsinghua, stating that she could return to teach right away.
与信同来的还有一大笔汇款，这是父亲落实政策后补发的工资。	Accompanying the letter was a sum of money: the back pay owed to her father after his rehabilitation.
在基地会议上，领导终于称她为叶文洁同志了。	Finally, at base meetings, her supervisors could call her comrade.
叶文洁很平静地面对这一切，没有激动和兴奋。	Ye faced all these changes with equanimity, showing no sign of excitement or elation.
她对外面的世界不感兴趣，宁愿一直在僻静的红岸基地待下去，但为了孩子的教育，她还是离开了本以为要度过一生的红岸基地，返回了母校。	She had no interest in the outside world, only wanting to stay at the quiet, out-of-the-way Red Coast Base. But for the sake of Yang Dong's education, she finally left the base that she had once thought would be her home for the rest of her life, and returned to her alma mater.
走出深山，叶文洁充满了春天的感觉，“文革”的严冬确实结束了，一切都在复苏之中。	Leaving the mountains, Ye felt spring was everywhere. The cold winter of the Cultural Revolution really was over, and everything was springing back to life.
虽然浩劫刚刚结束，举目望去一片废墟，无数人在默默地舔着自己的伤口，但在人们眼中，未来新生活的曙光已经显现。	Even though the calamity had just ended, everything was in ruins, and countless men and women were licking their wounds. The dawn of a new life was already evident.
大学中出现了带着孩子的学生，书店中文学名著被抢购一空，工厂中的技术革新成了一件最了不起的事情，科学研究更是被罩上了一层神圣的光环。	Students with children of their own appeared on college campuses; bookstores sold out of famous literary works; technological innovation became the focus in factories; and scientific research now enjoyed a sacred halo.
科学和技术一时成了打开未来之门的唯一钥匙，人们像小学生那样真诚地接近科学，他们的奋斗虽是天真的，但也是脚踏实地的。	Science and technology were the only keys to opening the door to the future, and people approached science with the faith and sincerity of elementary school students. Though their efforts were naïve, they were also down-to-earth.
在第一次全国科学大会上，郭沫若宣布科学的春天到来了。	At the first National Conference on Science, Guo Moruo, president of the Chinese Academy of Sciences, declared that it was the season of rebirth and renewal for China's battered science establishment.
这是疯狂的终结吗？	Was this the end of the madness?
科学和理智开始回归了？	Were science and rationality really coming back?
叶文洁不止一次地问自己。	Ye asked herself these questions repeatedly.
直到离开红岸基地，叶文洁再也没有收到来自三体世界的消息。	Ye never again received any communication from Trisolaris.
她知道，要想收到那个世界对她那条信息的回答，最少要等八年，何况她离开了基地后，已经不具备接收外星回信的条件了。	She knew that she would have to wait at least eight years to hear that world's response to her message, and after leaving the base, she no longer had any way of receiving extraterrestrial replies.
那件事实在太重大了，却由她一个人静悄悄地做完，这就产生了一种不真实的感觉。	It was such an important thing, and yet she had done it all by herself. This gave her a sense of unreality.
随着时间的流逝，这种虚幻感越来越强烈，那件事越来越像自己的幻觉，像一场梦。	As time passed, that sense grew ever stronger. What had happened resembled an illusion, a dream.
太阳真的能够放大电波吗？	Could the sun really amplify radio signals?
她真的把太阳作为天线，向宇宙中发射过人类文明的信息吗？	Did she really use it as an antenna to send a message about human civilization into the universe?
真的收到过外星文明的信息吗？	Did she really receive a message from the stars?
她背叛整个人类文明的那个血色清晨真的存在过？	Did that blood-hued morning, when she had betrayed the entire human race, really happen?
还有那一次谋杀……	And those murders ...
叶文洁试着在工作中麻木自己，以便忘掉过去——她竟然几乎成功了，一种奇怪的自我保护本能使她不再回忆往事，不再想起她与外星文明曾经有过的联系，日子就这样在平静中一天天过去。	Ye tried to numb herself with work so as to forget the past—and almost succeeded. A strange kind of self-protective instinct caused her to stop recalling the past, to stop thinking about the communication she had once had with another civilization. Her life passed this way, day after day, in tranquility.
回到母校一段时间后，叶文洁带着冬冬去了母亲绍琳那里。	After she had been back at Tsinghua for a while, Ye took Dong Dong to see her grandmother, Shao Lin.
丈夫惨死后，绍琳很快从精神错乱中恢复过来，继续在政治夹缝中求生存。	After her husband's death, Shao had soon recovered from her mental breakdown and found ways to survive in the tiny cracks of politics.
她紧跟形势高喊口号，终于得到了一点报偿，在后来的“复课闹革命”中重新走上了讲台。	Her attempts to chase the political winds and shout the right slogans finally paid off, and later, during the "Return to Class, Continue the Revolution" phase, she went back to teaching.
但这时，绍琳却做出了一件出人意料的事，与一位受迫害的教育部高干结了婚，当时那名高干还在干校住“牛棚”劳改中。	But then Shao did something that no one expected. She married a persecuted high-level cadre from the Education Ministry. At that time, the cadre still lived in a "cowshed" for reform through labor.
对此绍琳有自己的深思熟虑，她心里清楚，社会上的混乱不可能长久，目前这帮夺权的年轻造反派根本没有管理国家的经验，现在靠边站和受迫害的这批老干部迟早还是要上台执政的。	This was part of Shao's long-term plan. She knew that the chaos in society could not last long. The young rebels who were attacking everything in sight had no experience in managing a country. Sooner or later, the persecuted and sidelined old cadres would be back in power.
后来的事实证明她这次赌博是正确的，“文革”还没有结束，她的丈夫已经部分恢复了职位，十一届三中全会后，他迅速升到了副部级。	Her gamble paid off. Even before the end of the Cultural Revolution, her husband was partially restored to his old position. After the Third Plenary Session of the Eleventh CPC Central Committee, he was soon promoted to the level of a deputy minister.
绍琳凭着这个背景，在这知识分子重新得到礼遇的时候，很快青云直上。	Based on this background, Shao Lin also rose quickly as intellectuals became favored again.
在成为科学院学部委员之后，她很聪明地调离了原来的学校，很快升为另一所名牌大学的副校长。	After becoming a member of the Chinese Academy of Sciences, she very wisely left her old school and was promoted to be the vice president of another famous university.
叶文洁见到的母亲，是一位保养得很好的知识女性形象，丝毫没有过去受磨难的痕迹。	Ye Wenjie saw this new version of her mother as the very model of an educated woman who knew how to take care of herself. There was not a hint of the persecution that she went through.
她热情地接待了叶文洁母女，关切地询问她这些年是怎么过来的，惊叹冬冬是多么的聪明可爱，细致入微地对做饭的保姆交代叶文洁喜欢吃的菜……	She enthusiastically welcomed Ye and Dong Dong, inquired after Ye's life during those years with concern, exclaimed that Dong Dong was so cute and smart, and meticulously directed the cook in preparing Ye's favorite dishes.
这一切都做得那么得体，那么熟练，那么恰到好处。	Everything was done with skill, practice, and the appropriate level of care.
但叶文洁清楚地感觉到她们之间的隔阂，她们小心地避开敏感的话题，没有谈到叶文洁的父亲。	But Ye could clearly detect an invisible wall between her mother and herself. They carefully avoided sensitive topics and never mentioned Ye's father.
晚饭后，绍琳和丈夫送叶文洁和孩子走了很远，副部长说要和叶文洁说句话，绍琳就先回去了。	After dinner, Shao Lin and her husband accompanied Ye and Dong Dong down to the street to say good-bye. Then Shao Lin returned home while the deputy minister asked to have a word with Ye.
这时，副部长的脸色一瞬间由温暖的微笑变得冷若冰霜，像不耐烦地扯下一副面具，他说：“以后欢迎你带孩子常来，但有一条，不要来追究历史旧账。	In a moment, the deputy minister's kind smile turned to frost, as though he had impatiently pulled off his mask. "We're happy to have you and the child visit in the future under one condition: Do not try to pursue old historical debts.
对于你父亲的死，你母亲没有责任，她也是受害者。	Your mother bears no responsibility for your father's death. She was a victim as well.
倒是你父亲这个人，对自己那些信念的执著有些变态了，一条道走到黑，抛弃了对家庭的责任，让你们母女受了这么多的苦。”	Your father clung to his own faith in a manner that was not healthy and walked all the way down a blind alley. He abandoned his responsibility to his family and caused you and your mother to suffer."
“您没资格谈我的父亲，”叶文洁气愤地说，“这是我和母亲间的事，与别人无关。”	"You have no right to speak of my father," Ye said, anger suffusing her voice. "This is between my mother and me. It has nothing to do with you."
“确实与我无关，”绍琳的丈夫冷冷地点点头，“我是在转达你母亲的意思。”	"You're right," Shao Lin's husband said coldly. "I'm only passing on a message from your mother."
叶文洁回头看，在那座带院子的高干小楼上，绍琳正撩开窗帘的一角向这边偷窥。	Ye looked up at the residential apartment building reserved for high-level cadres. Shao Lin had lifted a corner of the curtain to peek down at them.
叶文洁无言地抱起冬冬走了，以后再也没有回去过。	Without a word, Ye bent down to pick up Dong Dong and left. She never returned.
叶文洁多方查访当年打死父亲的那四个红卫兵，居然查到了她们中的三个。	Ye searched and searched for information about the four female Red Guards who had killed her father, and eventually managed to locate three of them.
这三个人都是返城知青，现在她们都没有工作。	All three had been sent down to the countryside and then returned, and all were unemployed.
叶文洁得知她们的地址后，分别给她们写了一封简单的信，约她们到当年父亲遇害的操场上谈谈。	After Ye got their addresses, she wrote a brief letter to each of them, asking them to meet her at the exercise grounds where her father had died. Just to talk.
叶文洁并没有什么复仇的打算。	Ye had no desire for revenge.
在红岸基地的那个旭日初升的早晨，她已向包括她们在内的全人类复了仇，她只想听到这些凶手的忏悔，看到哪怕是一点点人性的复归。	Back at Red Coast Base, on that morning of the transmission, she had gotten revenge against the entire human race, including those Red Guards. But she wanted to hear these murderers repent, wanted to see even a hint of the return of humanity.
这天下午下课后，叶文洁在操场上等着她们。	That afternoon after class, Ye waited for them on the exercise grounds.
她并没有抱多大希望，几乎肯定她们是不会来的，但在约定的时间，三个老红卫兵来了。	She didn't have much hope, and was almost certain that they wouldn't show up. But at the time of the appointment, the three old Red Guards came.
叶文洁远远就认出了那三个人，因为她们都穿着现在已经很少见的绿军装。	Ye recognized them from a distance because they were all dressed in now-rare green military uniforms.
走近后，她发现这很可能就是她们当年在批判会上穿的那身衣服，衣服都已洗得发白，有显眼的补丁。	When they came closer, she realized that the uniforms were likely the same ones they had worn at that mass struggle session. The clothes had been laundered until their color had faded, and they had been conspicuously patched.
但除此以外，这三个三十左右的女人与当年那三名英姿飒爽的红卫兵已没有任何相似之处了，从她们身上消逝的，除了青春，显然还有更多的东西。	Other than the uniforms, the three women in their thirties no longer resembled the three young Red Guards who had looked so valiant on that day. They had lost not only youth, but also something else.
叶文洁的第一印象就是，与当年的整齐划一相比，她们之间的差异变大了。	The first impression Ye had was that, though the three had once seemed to be carved out of the same mold, they now looked very different from each other.
其中的一人变得很瘦小，当年的衣服穿在身上居然还有些大了，她的背有些弯，头发发黄，已显出一丝老态；另一位却变得十分粗壮，那身衣服套在她粗笨的身体上扣不上扣子，她头发蓬乱，脸黑黑的，显然已被艰难的生活磨去了所有女性的精致，只剩下粗鲁和麻木了；第三个女人身上倒还有些年轻时的影子，但她的一只袖管是空的，走路时荡来荡去。	One had become very thin and small, and her uniform hung loose on her. Already showing her age, her back was bent and her hair had a yellow tint. Another had become thick framed, so that the uniform jacket she wore could not even be buttoned. Her hair was messy and her face dark, as though the hardship of life had robbed her of any feminine refinement, leaving behind only numbness and rudeness. The third woman still had hints of her youthful appearance, but one of her sleeves was now empty and hung loose as she walked.
三个老红卫兵走到叶文洁面前，面对着她站成了一排——当年，她们也是这样面对叶哲泰的——试图再现那早已忘却的尊严，但她们当年那魔鬼般的精神力量显然已荡然无存。	The three old Red Guards stood in front of Ye in a row—just like they had stood against Ye Zhetai—trying to recapture their long-forgotten dignity. But the demonic spiritual energy that had once propelled them was gone.
瘦小女人的脸上有一种老鼠的表情，粗壮女人的脸上只有麻木，独臂女人的两眼望着天空。	The thin woman's face held a mouselike expression. The thickset woman's face showed only numbness. The one-armed woman gazed up at the sky.
“你以为我们不敢来？” 粗壮女人挑衅似的问道。	"Did you think we wouldn't dare to show up?" the thickset woman asked, her tone trying to be provocative.
“我觉得我们应该见见面，过去的事情总该有个了结的。”叶文洁说。	"I thought we should see each other. There should be some closure to the past," Ye said.
“已经了结了，你应该听说过的。”	"The past is finished. You should know that."
瘦小女人说，她的声音尖尖的，仿佛时刻都带着一种不知从何而来的惊恐。	The thin woman's voice was sharp, as though she was always frightened of something.
“我是说从精神上。”	"I meant spiritual closure."
“那你是准备听我们忏悔了？”粗壮女人问。	"Then you want to hear us repent?" the thick woman asked.
“你们不该忏悔吗？”	"Don't you think you should?"
“那谁对我们忏悔呢？” 一直沉默的独臂女人说。	"Then who will repent to us?" the one-armed woman asked.
粗壮女人说：“我们四个人中，有三个在清华附中的那张大字报上签过名，从大串联、大检阅到大武斗，从‘一司’、‘二司’、‘三司’到‘联动’、‘西纠’、‘东纠’，再到‘新北大公社’、‘红旗战斗队’和‘东方红’，我们经历过红卫兵从生到死的全过程。”	The thickset woman said, "Of the four of us, three had signed the big-character poster at the high school attached to Tsinghua. Revolutionary tours, the great rallies in Tiananmen, the Red Guard Civil Wars, First Red Headquarters, Second Red Headquarters, Third Red Headquarters, Joint Action Committee, Western Pickets, Eastern Pickets, New Peking University Commune, Red Flag Combat Team, The East is Red—we went through every single milestone in the history of the Red Guards from birth to death."
独臂女人接着说：“在清华校园的百日大武斗中，我们四个人，两个在‘井冈山’，两个在‘四·一四’。	The one-armed woman took over. "During the Hundred-Day War at Tsinghua, two of us were with the Jinggang Mountain Corps, and the other two were with the April Fourteenth Faction.
我曾经举着手榴弹冲向‘井冈山’的土造坦克，这只手被坦克轮子压碎了，当时血肉和骨头在地上和成了泥——那年我才十五岁啊。”	I held a grenade and attacked a homemade tank from the Jinggang Mountain faction. My arm was crushed by the treads on the tank. My blood and muscle and bones were ground into the mud. I was only fifteen years old."
“后来我们走向广阔天地了！”	"Then, we were sent to the wilderness!"
粗壮女人扬起双手说，“我们四个，两个去了陕西，两个去了河南，都是最偏僻最穷困的地方。	The thickset woman raised her arms. "Two of us were sent to Shaanxi, the other two to Henan, all to the most remote and poorest corners.
刚去的时候还意气风发呢，可日子久了，干完一天的农活，累得连衣服都洗不动；	When we first went, we were still idealistic, but that didn't last. After a day of laboring in the fields, we were so tired that we couldn't even wash our clothes.
躺在漏雨的草屋里，听着远处的狼叫，慢慢从梦里回到现实。	We lay in leaky straw huts and listened to wolves cry in the night, and gradually we woke from our dreams.
我们待在穷乡僻壤里，真是叫天天不语，叫地地不应啊。”	We were stuck in those forgotten villages and no one cared about us at all."
独臂女人呆呆地看着地面说：“有时，在荒山小径上，遇到了昔日的红卫兵战友，或是武斗中的敌人，双方互相看看，一样的衣衫破烂，一样的满身尘土和牛粪，相视无语啊。”	The one-armed woman stared at the ground numbly. "While we were down in the countryside, sometimes, on a trail across the barren hill, I'd bump into another Red Guard comrade or an enemy. We'd look at each other: the same ragged clothes, the same dirt and cow shit covering us. We had nothing to say to each other."
“唐红静，”粗壮女人盯着叶文洁说，“就是那个朝你父亲的头抽了最要命一皮带的女孩儿，在黄河中淹死了。	The thickset woman stared at Ye. "Tang Hongjing was the girl who gave your father the fatal strike with her belt. She drowned in the Yellow River.
洪水把队里的羊冲走了几只，队支书就冲知青们喊：革命小将们，考验你们的时候到了！	There was a flood that carried off a few of the sheep kept by the production team. So the Party secretary called to the sent-down students, 'Revolutionary youths! It's time to test your mettle!'
于是，红静就和另外三个知青跳下河去捞羊，那时还是凌汛，水面上还浮着一层冰呢！	And so, Hongjing and three other students jumped into the river to save the sheep. It was early spring, and the surface of the river was still covered by a thin layer of ice.
四个人全死了，谁知是淹死的还是冻死的。	All four died, and no one knew if it was from drowning or freezing.
见到他们尸首的时候……	When I saw their bodies ...
我…… 我他妈说不下去了……”	I ... I ... can't fucking talk about this anymore."
她捂着脸哭了起来。	She covered her eyes and sobbed.
瘦小女人流着泪长叹一声，“后来回城了，可回来又怎么样呢？	The thin woman sighed, tears in her eyes. "Then, later, we returned to the city. But so what if we're back?
还是一无所有，回来的知青日子都不好过，而我们这样的人最次的工作都找不到，没有工作没有钱没有前途，什么都没有了。”	We still have nothing. Rusticated youths who have returned don't lead very good lives. We can't even find the worst jobs. No job, no money, no future. We have nothing."
叶文洁彻底无语了。	Ye had no words.
独臂女人说：“最近有一部电影，叫《枫》，不知你看过没有？	The one-armed woman said, "There was a movie called Maple recently. I don't know if you've seen it.
结尾处，一个大人和一个小孩儿站在死于武斗的红卫兵墓前，那孩子问大人：他们是烈士吗？	At the end, an adult and a child stand in front of the grave of a Red Guard who had died during the faction civil wars. The child asks the adult, 'Are they heroes?'
大人说不是；孩子又问：他们是敌人吗？	The adult says no. The child asks, 'Are they enemies?'
大人说也不是；孩子再问：那他们是什么？	The adult again says no. The child asks, 'Then who are they?'
大人说：是历史。”	The adult says, 'History.'"
“听到了吗？	"Did you hear that?"
是历史！ 是历史了！” 粗壮女人兴奋地对叶文洁挥着一只大手说，“现在是新时期了，谁还会记得我们，拿咱们当回事儿？	The thickset woman waved an arm excitedly at Ye. "History! History! It's a new age now. Who will remember us? Who will think of us, including you?
大家很快就会忘干净的！”	Everyone will forget all this completely!"
三个老红卫兵走了，把叶文洁一个人留在操场上，十多年前那个阴雨霏霏的下午，她也是这样孤独地站在这里，看着死去的父亲。	The three old Red Guards departed, leaving only Ye on the exercise grounds. More than a dozen years ago, on that rainy afternoon, she had stood alone here as well, gazing at her dead father.
那个老红卫兵最后的一句话在她脑海中不停地回响着……	The old Red Guard's final remark echoed endlessly in her mind....
夕阳给叶文洁瘦弱的身躯投下长长的影子。	The setting sun cast a long shadow from Ye's slender figure.
在她的心灵中，对社会刚刚出现的一点希望像烈日下的露水般蒸发了，对自己已经做出的超级背叛的那一丝怀疑也消失得无影无踪，将宇宙间更高等的文明引入人类世界，终于成为叶文洁坚定不移的理想。	The small sliver of hope for society that had emerged in her soul had evaporated like a drop of dew in the sun. Her tiny sense of doubt about her supreme act of betrayal had also disappeared without a trace.